fat chance of me being bitter

when im so mababaw and such a dreamer...
sigh...
you know what im thinking ryt now?
i want to fall in love...
haha.

i am listening to N'Sync's God Must Have Spent a Little More Time on You...
and i cant help but get all dreamy and kilig-y... haha, over the song...
no real fantasy involved... just dreaming... that someone is singing the song to me... haha, hopeless romantics are sooo not going to be bitter, no matter how many times, and how really hurt they become...
ako pa, since i was in grade school, sobrang hopeless romantic na ko... hehe, its so innate. and im glad it is. kasi if it wasnt, i wouldnt be smiling right now.
:D

im not sure if this is a good way of moving on... getting all dreamy all over again... maybe its my opium, and it works so good. :D

last night, i rode with this guy in the trike. i was from rotonda and he rode from the gate of the subdivision. he was tall and cute. hehe. when we got to my house, i was short 20 bucks. and he offered to pay. sigh...
knight in nike basketball shoes?
haha. talk about really easy access... didnt get his name though, basta alam ko he lives a few blocks away. haha.

i remember when i was a kid, the ultimate fantasy was having a guy neighbor turned best friend and confidante over the years and he's been secretly in love with you. too bad my male bestfriend neighbor back then turned out to be super gay haha.
and my gradeschool guy bestfriend lives in the states... but he's in town :D but it isnt the same...

and my other bestfriend is... well, that isnt the same either... will never be.

oh well. i know my love story is also out there... no use being confused and assuming and analytic and hopeful about things that are... well... you know...


...My life was complete
I thought I was whole
Why do I feel like I'm losing control?...

...Never thought that love could feel like this
And you changed my world with just one kiss
How can it be that right here with me
There's an angel
It's a miracle...

...And I'm trying hard to figure out
Just how I ever did without
The warmth of your smile
The heart of a child...

bitter naman ng song na ito ni soul siren...

I Don't Want To Be Your Friend

I don't wanna see your face
I don't wanna hear your name
I don't wanna thing
Just stay away baby
Don't wanna know if you're alright
Or what you're doin' with your life
Don't wanna hear that you'll stay in touch baby

I'll get by just fine
And if you're goin' then darlin'
Goodbye, goodbye

Don't call me in the middle of the night no more
Don't expect me to be there
Don't think that it will be the way it was before
Don't think that I care
I'm not over you yet
And I don't wanna be your friend

I'll forget we ever met
I'll forget I ever let
Ever let you into this heart of mine baby
You just gotta let me be
You gotta keep away from me
'Cause all I want is just to be free from you baby
Don't you come around
And say you still care about me
Just go now, go now

Don't call me in the middle of the night no more
Don't expect me to be there
Don't think that it will be the way it was before
Don't think that I care
I'm not over you yet
And I don't wanna be your friend

You take it casually, and baby it's killing me
I'll get by just fine
So if you're goin' then darlin' goodbye, goodbye

Don't call me in the middle of the night no more
Don't expect me to be there
Don't think that it will be the way it was before
No baby
Don't call me in the middle of the night no more
I'm not over you yet
And I don't want to be your friend
I don't want to be your friend


Don't call me
Don't come around
Don't wanna be your friend...

Oy ayoko naman ng ganito no... Im such a good girl to be like this haha.
but really, it might be blind faith, but id rather try and be happy and keep counting my lucky stars up in the sky or be sunny in the daytime than be stuck on being bitter. i never did like ampalaya and i dont plan on being like one...

Tea and Sympathy - Jars of Clay

Fare thee well
Trade in all our words for tea and sympathy
Wonder why we tried, for things that could never be
Play our hearts lament, like an unrehearsed symphony

Not intend
To leave this castle full of empty rooms
Our love the captive in the tower never rescued
And all the victory songs
Seem to be playing out of tune

But it’s not the way
That it has to be
Don’t trade our love for tea and sympathy
’cause it’s not the way
That it has to be

You begin
And all your words fall to the floor and break like china cups
And the waitress grabs a broom and tries to sweep them up
I reach for my tea and slowly drink in

Chorus:

’cause it’s not the way
That it has to be
Don’t trade our love for tea and sympathy
’cause it’s not the way
That it has to be
Don’t trade our love for tea and sympathy

So fare thee well
Words the bag of leaves that fill my head
I could taste the bitterness and call the waitress instead
She holds the answer, smiles and asks one teaspoon or two

[chorus x 2]

Don’t trade us for tea and sympathy
Don’t trade us for tea and sympathy
We can work it out
Don’t trade us for tea and sympathy
Don’t trade us for tea and sympathy
We can work it out
Don’t trade us for tea and sympathy
We can work it out

Remember this, and keep it to your heart.

Love has its own time, its own seasons, and its own reason for coming and going.

You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into staying.

You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you..

i dont understand

i just dont understand where my life is heading... or even where i want it to go.
this morning, i felt fine, even happy. but now im uber-depressed, and i dont really know why. a number of factors...
jeezzz.
why do the ones you love hurt you? and cant we just shut ourselves out so we dont get hurt?
last yr this time, i mustve been really happy.
last 2 years this time, i mustve been more than really happy.
these mood swings suck...

kitchie nadal - wag na wag mong sasabihin

May gusto ka bang sabihin
Ba't 'di mapakali
Ni hindi makatingin
Sana'y 'wag mo na itong palipasin
At subukang lutasin
Sana'y sinabi mo na

**Iba'ng nararapat sa akin
Na tunay kong mamahalin

Oh, 'wag na 'wag mong sasabihin
Na hindi mo nadama itong
Pag-ibig kong handang
Ibigay kahit pa kalayaan mo**
Ano man ang iyong akala
Na ako'y isang bituin
Na walang sasambahin
'Di ko man ito ipakita
Abot-langit ang daing
Sana'y sinabi mo na
repeat **
At sa gabi, sinong duduyan sa 'yo
At sa umaga, ang hangin ang hahaplos sa 'yo
Oh oh

ive got trouble with goodbyes

but i guess some people dont.
maybe that's their way of coping... or escaping. ill never really know.

why'd i even say hello?
when all you're gonna say is goodbye?

to think we said forever... you vowed forever.

i hate that it hurts...

but hate is better than indifference. because under the hate is love. in indifference there is none.

emo

i wish i could put it all so well into words like this guy does: x-boyfriend

but im not that brave to put it all out there for everyone to see and mock.
just that, whatever goes for this guy, goes triple for me. Cause, if he isn't emo, then i am. I AM EMO. and i hate it.
i wish i could just lie there and NOT think.
i wish i could just work here and NOT let my mind drift elsewhere.
i wish i could truly be bitter and fucked up, to get drunk and wasted and be an ass or a bitch and have the capacity to hurt other people as much as i am hurting.

but then that would all be in vain.
cause the people you want to care, just wont care.
and you dont want to care that they dont care that you care.

excerpts....
"In love, you brace yourself to give everything. And everything takes you by force, and never by choice. You never notice how much it’s taken, and you never recount how much you’ve given. And before you know it, she is your whole day, and your whole life. Just as it is for the alcoholic. The addict. The heartbroken. And when she leaves you, well, everything is taken along with her....

So I’ve been told that’s it’s wrong to give so fucking much. But if love really meant everything, would you expect yourself to give anything less?

So one learns that the only way to love as much as you want, is ironically, to love less than you need...

But in reality, I was never putting up with anything. I loved her, and I still do, and you never put up with who you love... "

Give me a really good swear word.

i wish it could be that easy

to just click and press delete.
delete.
delete.
delete.
delete all messages.
delete all files.
delete everything.
how i wish i had it easy.
to just delete.
to even delete from the trash bin.
just delete.
erase all?
please...
if you can do it, why can't i?
damn it.

help

where can i find lyrics to this song kaya?
ang ganda lang nya talaga....
pinoy daw to e. astig.
Legaci - Ready For Love

ive been in the office since 815 am. i woke up at around 5am.
i feel so tired and sleepy and i dont want to be, and that makes me cranky... na i dont want to be cranky.
grrr.
i have work and i plan to be like Mike in Danielle Steel's The Promise.
haha.
im cranky and what do i refer to? a cheesy romance novel.
i am seriously hopeless.
the past three nights, ive treated myself to a mocha frappe every night, and i guess im so into torturing myself into spending more time awake, and thus, more time, thinking and eventually getting depressed... must be the caffeine... though that is not the effect caffeine has... my whole system is in revolt. wish i was too.
i hope this week will just fly by...
that i can drift through time unfeeling and, with that, half-alive.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

yaiks

and so Carrie tries to befriend her ex Big, and so they go to lunch and it seems they were okay. until Carrie asks Big about Natasha...
and then Big tells her they're engaged.
and it all goes downhill...

meanwhile, Miranda goes on a friendly date with Steve... and it ends up... well...

Now THAT would be nice. haha!

sex and the city season 2 last episode

when you love and break up, where does the love go?

i was just thinking that. if ever, where do you channel that "energy"?
hmmm...

on to season 3...

what now...

i dont really know what to do now.
love or hate.
be cynical or optimistic.
be hopeful or hopeless.
closed or open.
keep trying or not at all.

ryt now, it's just me and sex and the city, because next week the head honchos of our company si visiting flying from Rockville USA to our Manila office. I've got to buy clothes this weekend AND i have to be in the office by 830am. terrible.

ive cleaned up my desk (and hidden the kalat stash underneath).
and now im thinking, i wish i could just clean everything up in my life and start over.
last night, i was seriously considering moving out of the house, if only my sister still isn't in grade school. that way, i could live independently- which is equivalent to living the way i want to live.
i wish. i wish.
i wish i could have it all my way...
but then, would i be really happy then?

im more inggit...

i overheard jsan saying that he did the same thing with his girlfriend, un nga lang, surprise party naman sa resto or something like that.
seryosohan na daw to.
hehe.
cant imagine si jsan... pero, maybe guys need to reach a certain age or a certain level of maturity for this to happen? i mean, considering that they're past that honeymoon stage (kasi naman, pagbago pa, it's a given naman na talaga...) imagine, up until you're together for years, he still manages to surprise you simply because he loves you and wants you to be happy...
sigh.
one good thing though. at least im not cynical. im not bitter.
i know that my time will come den... :D
soon i hope.
i know that someday my prince will come :D
now let me just find those seven dwarfs...

nga pala,got more sex and the city stuff for you...
"it is a common belief that a relationship without pain is not worth having. to some, pain implies growth, but how do we know when the growing pains stop and the pain-pains take over? are we masochists or optimists if we continue to walk that fine line? How do you know when enough is enough?"

im inggit...

it's jsan's bday, and when i arrived at the office, his workplace was decorated with blue and silver stuff: balloons, curly stuff hanging from the walls, and a big happy bday was there, haha, with a picture of him and his girlfriend.
yes im inggit...

and to depress me even more, while i was washing the dishes i heard this old song:
"i'd rather have bad times with you... than good times with someone else..."

we are so obviously not singing the same song...
oh well. i think i need another dose of sex and the city wisdom before going back to work... :D

Jojo - Leave (Get Out)

I've been waiting all day here for you babe
so won't you come sit and talk to me
and tell me how we're gonna be together always
i hope you know that when it's late at night
I hold on to my pillow tight
and think of how you promised me forever
(I never thought that anyone) could make me feel this way
(now that you're here boy all I want) is just a chance to say

get out (leave) right now
it's the end of you and me
it's too late (now) and I can't wait for you to be gone
cause I know, about her (move)
and I wonder (why)
how I bought all the lies
you said that you would treat me right
but you was just a waste of time (waste of time)

tell me why you're looking so confused
when I'm the one who didn't know the truth
how could you ever be so cold?
to go behind my back and call my friend
boy you must've gone and bumped your head
because you left her number on your phone
(so now after all is said and done)
maybe I'm the one to blame but
(to think that you could be the one)
well it didn't work out that way

get out (leave) right now
it's the end of you and me
it's too late (now) and I can't wait for you to be gone (you to be gone)
cause I know, about her (move)
and I wonder (why)
how I bought all the lies (all the lies)
you said that you would treat me right (you said that you)
but you was just a waste of time (waste of time)

I wanted you right here with me
but I have no choice, you've gotta leave
because my heart is breaking
with every word I'm saying,
boy I gave up everything I had
on something that just wouldn't last
but I refuse to cry
no tears will fall from these eyes (ohh, ohh)

get out!

get out (leave) right now
it's the end of you and me (you and me)
it's too late (now) and I can't wait for you to be gone (you to be gone)
cause I know, about her (move)
and I wonder (why)
how I bought all the lies (how did buy all your lies?)
you said that you would treat me right (you said that you)
but you was just a waste of time (waste of time)

get out (leave) right now
it's the end of you and me (hey yeah)
it's too late (now) and I can't wait for you to be gone (you to be gone)
cause I know, about her (move)
and I wonder (why)
how I bought all the lies
you said that you would treat me right (treat me right)
but you was just a waste of time (ooh)

get out (leave)
(you and me)
it's too late (now)(too late) (you)
about her (move)(why)
you said that you would treat me right
but you was just a waste of time(waste of time) (ohh)

Leave!

blahhh 

drowned myself in sex and the city episodes today

there were sex and the city episodes in the shared drive so i almost did no work today.
grabe, i never knew that show coould offer so much wisdom...
anyway, let me leave you with some of carrie's thoughts...

after the break up: "how do you bounce back when reality batters your belief system that love does not, as promised, conquer all? is hoep a drug that we need to let go of? or is it keeping us alive?"

on getting back with big:"i was afraid that he could never love me the way i want to be loved. that he would never have the capacity to love anyone but himself. that given the chance, he would break my heart again..."

LSS ngak.

im all out of love. im so lost without you... hahahah! LSS yun no!!! pero whatever.
happy naman ang day. between making chika with my starbuzzer friends here in the office and corny jokes with Ge, nakakalimot ka den for awyl...
got my work done, though not as much as i should be doing.
im headed for home na. anlamig naman na kasi e. dont have jacket.
i dont feel miserable naman. managed to divert myself to stuff that arent really fun to do, pero it takes your mind off... things.
over all this is a pretty blah day. which is better than an off day.
cguro mamayang gabi, ayan, magiisip na naman ako ng kung anu ano.
na sana im not an optimistic freak who rationalizes AND over analyzes everything.
na no matter how much i try to be happy, other people will certainly pull you down so that you end up covered in shit.which makes you think that maybe you are destined for failure, in all aspects of ur life.
but really. i know that's not true. yeah, i am an optimistic freak.

share ko na lang these words na, wala lang, i got or heard recently, and they got to me:
There are better things ahead than any we leave behind -C.S. Lewis (o diba deep?!)
I survived because i got a good safety net. - Sex and the City (will watch it here in the ofc more often na nga than CSI... ill be needing more wisdom about sex, exte love hehe, rather than working on improving my CSI alter ego...)

and Mara did really well daw in her exams! yeba!!!

haha

nakakaconfuse pala... sound trip ko iba ang tema, pero ung kanta ko sa blog bouncy bouncy happy joy joy pa. oh well. bakit ba?!
lechugas...
stop barking at the wrong dog! dog ka ba?!

sOunD tRip

my head-banging song...

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you

Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies
But deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

No one ever lies straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be ok

Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like
What it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

Welcome to my life

Welcome to my life

nabigla talaga...

Nandito, naka-ukit pa rin sa puso ko
Nang sabihin mong 'wag na lang
Nandito, nakatatak pa rin sa isip ko
Kung paano mo tinalikuran ang lahat

REFRAIN
Kay bilis
Ba't umalis
Nakaka-miss

CHORUS
Nabigla nang
'Di ko man lamang nalaman na mawawala
Nabigla nang
'Di mo man lamang naisip na idahan-dahan
'Di ako sanay sa biglaan
Unti-unti na lang sanang nawala

AD LIB
(Oh)

Hindi ba natin kayang magkunwari
Ang sabihing sige na lang
Hindi ba natin kayang dayain
Ang mga yakap sa tuwing lumalamig

[Repeat REFRAIN]
[Repeat CHORUS]

'Di ako sanay sa biglaan
Unti-unti na lang sanang nawala

CHORUS
'Di ko man lamang nalaman na mawawala
Nabigla nang
'Di mo man lamang naisip na idahan-dahan

CODA
Nabigla nang (oh hoh, oh hoh, oh hoh, oh hoh)
Nabigla nang (oh hoh, oh hoh, oh hoh)

at ang walang kamatayang kanta ni Rachel Alejandro (na kinanta din pala ng ex niyang si Dingdong)...

I know it's over, I know it's gone
Couldn't work it out much longer
It's only getting harder
It's time to say goodbye
I just can't help but cry
I wanted us to make it
But I guess we couldn't fake it
CHORUS:
Much longer, we couldn't make it last
Much longer, this love is fading fast
I know that it's time for me to start letting go
'Cause the love you have for me no longer shows
Eventhough it hurts I have to face the truth
That no matter what I do
There will be no me and you
Much longer
I did my best to make it last
'Cause it's all I ever wanted
But you took my love for granted
You took your time making up your mind
Making up would always be there
But I really couldn't hold on
CHORUS

on a lighter note. these are the songs i want that special someone to sing to me. whoever he is...

Some day, when I'm awfully low,
When the world is cold,
I will feel a glow just thinking of you...
And the way you look tonight.

Yes you're lovely, with your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft,
There is nothing for me but to love you,
And the way you look tonight.

With each word your tenderness grows,
Tearing my fear apart...
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
It touches my foolish heart.

Lovely ... Never, ever change.
Keep that breathless charm.
Won't you please arrange it ?
'Cause I love you ... Just the way you look tonight.

Mm, Mm, Mm, Mm,
Just the way you look to-night.

at ang recent addition sa mga "you-make-me-melt" songs...

You're there by my side
In every way
I know that you would not forsake me
I give you my life
Would not think twice
Your love is all I need believe me

I may not say it quite as much as I should
When I say I love you darling that means for good
So open up your heart and let me in
And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together
So take my hand and hold on tight
And we'll get there
This I swear

I'm wondering how I ever got by
Without you in my life to guide me
Where ever I go the one thing that's true
Is everything I do I do for you

I may not say it quite as much as I should
When I say I love you darling that means for good
So open up your heart and let me in
And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together
So take my hand and hold on tight
And we'll get there
This I swear

So whenever you get there
Just reach out for me
I'll never let you down my love

And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together
So take my hand and hold on tight
And we'll get there
This I swear

And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together
So take my hand and hold on tight
And we'll get there
This I swear

miss ko na makakita nito... at naaaliw ako mag-upload ng pictures kahit madami pa akong trabaho! 

wala lang... hahaha, experimenting with a digital cam phone... 

the art of multitasking

working my brain cells to the max, while discussing the pre-centennial with Ge, while chatting with 3 other people, while listening to music, talks with my makulit sister from time to time, and now, blogging!
wala lang.
just got the nice lyrics of this song. And how i wish the guy i'll marry will super mean these words...
May not say it quite as much as I should
When I say I love you darlin',
That means for good
So open up your heart and let me in
And I will love you,
Til' forever
Until death do us part
We'll be together
So take my hand
And hold on tight
And we'll get there,
This I swear...

The finest form of betrayal is when someone you love betrays you

yesterday was no doubt the absolute worst day of my life. I got more than what i bargained for, got so much more than what i deserved. actually, i know i didn't deserve it. But who ever knew how life worked?
I've actually learned something, though it's against what i've always stood up for.
Expect the worst.
And the pain wont be so unbearable i think.
Kasi when you keep being an optimist, the bad things will keep haunting you... If only I hadn't kept on hoping for the best, hoping that every bit of yourself that you've given would be worth it somehow, hoping that you would be happy, hoping that it will be forever, hoping... wishing... praying so hard. Maybe it wouldn't be this way. Maybe it wouldn't hurt as much. Maybe the pain would go away easier.
But then maybe, it has been written that I would feel this way. That i would go through this pain. Not only once.
Pero baka it's all for the better.
What matters is that... today im pretty!!!! hahahaha
no matter how crappy i feel inside, feeling ko ang ganda ganda ko! hahaha.
basta atleast right now, im okay. and we're okay. and no matter how bad it's gotten, i still have my best friend.
maybe it's stupid. but what matters right now is the present...
and at present, i am pretty!!! hahahahaha.
parang nase-semi loka loka na ko ah... oh well...
what's life without being insane...

thank God for girlfriends...

nothing is better than chatting with your girlfriends about nonsense things and laughing so hard it hurts!
it makes your blues go away and it makes you feel happy too...
well, at least im happy :D
now im ready to work... :D
Thanks Ryann, Nestlee, Pauline and Lalaine!
I love our chismisan and kwentuhan sessions!

the moment i wake up...

today i had one of the most horrifying moments of my life. Im just glad it's over. And i realized several things.
1) I am not good when I am faced with the possibility of someone dying. Sure, I am calm, but that's it. I am calm and not doing anything else. That might've been shock. And no matter how many times i've read "what you should do in an emergency", my mind went blank and all i can think of was, well, blank. Not good. Hopefully, I can be better at it next time... Oh God, may there not be a next time!
2) My mom is good in these situations. And i am proud of her because of that. She knew how to take charge and she knew what to do, even if she doesn't REALLY know. She has these great instincts i wish i had.
3) I'm glad my sister wasn't there. She would've been traumatized. And she would've seen her sister being lousy at panicky times.
4) God listens to our prayers. He really does.
5) Life is too precious to waste.
Until now, i haven't been able to do anything yet. I still feel like my heart is beating a lot faster than it normally does. My hands are still shaking a bit.
It's my boss' birthday and i hope we get ice cream. To soothe my nerves...

i am such a good girl today

or at least, feel like one. :D
i have a feeling this will be such a goooooddd day, in spite of everything else.
i woke up at 430 am, but i wasnt grouchy. in fact, i cooked fried chicken for our baon and i cooked breakfast pa for the family. i got to talk to Mara pa for a short sister bonding moment. And then i cleaned my room (ok, so not that much, but i actually fixed my bed and wiped the floor), ate my breakfast, then did my morning rituals slowly but carefully and dressed and went on my way na. By that time, hooray, no lines sa fx, tapos i brushed my hair lang sa fx (hehe), so now my hair's not sabog and buhaghag mashado (maybe it's bcos of my new shampoo?). And when i got here, i did some work before i did some leisure stuff, such as blogging.
I checked my performance for the past few days for US research and i can say im quite proud of myself. If i keep this up, Im gonna get loads more come February. hehe.
I just feel good today, like nothing will go wrong. And i did it all on my own.
And with that, i think im going to be more than okay.
I'll keep dreaming, I'll keep smiling, and I'll renounce my lazy ways...
Goodluck to me.

i think my wisdom tooth is struggling to come out. The past days, something is protruding back there and it hurt a bit.
Hmmm, does this mean, im getting to be a lot wiser? wheee... wish that were some kind of sign or consolation even.
anyway, last friday, jules got me the brochures for post graduat studies that i asked for. He gave me more than i bargained for. He gave me this bag of books on different schools abroad. Sigh. me want me want!!! Since i dont really like to work abroad (as in noooo), studying abroad is definitely a very pleasing thought. Kaso it's expensive. Way too expensive. But then, i could apply for a scholarship or something. Hayyy pero i dont think it'll be easy. It would have been easier for undergraduate study, but for post graduate? sigh. goodluck to me. With all their requirements, they make it sound like you have to win a pulitzer for them or something.
But imagine that. ive always wanted to study abroad, ever since i was in grade school and there have been invites on studying abroad. Wish id been able to take the chance before.
I'd like to get away from here... And explore a whole new world (haha, Aladdin will you be there with me?!)... and more importantly, a whole new me.
Myrha's working for the British Council right now. haha, i'm thinking that kind of institution will be my next target for employment. Something actually caught my eye in one of those books- Tourism Management. Then I'd work for the United Nations or something.
Travel Travel Travel...
Fly
Fly
Fly.
Haha.
Anyway, gusto ko lang kayo invite to watch Love in the City, weekends, 1130am. haha, my current favorite. It makes you want to swooooonnn. Haha, wish i could find a guy like Eugene (cutie lead actor). So dashing, so sweet, so caring, so loving, so understanding, so everything i want. Soooo prince charming. Take me to your castle!!! hahaha. So smart pa, CEO ng kumpanya! hehehe. More than prince charming, so papa material. as in "can-i-say-i-do-now-na?" material. the type who isn't going to make you sorry na you married the guy.
sheeesshh. too bad he's fictional. pero he's cute pa ren. hehe.
so there. i gotta work.
FOCUS
FOCUS
FOCUS!

Just a thought...
Can you really forgive if you can't forget?

my biggest mistake

i should have listened to my mother... hahahaha!
its hard na you've gone through a lot for a long time kasi you believed na it was worth it, so you put all your effort into it, as in selflessly, tapos one day, everything changes. everything is shattered.
from this point forward, nothing will ever be the same.
and no third chances on this one...