the week has been busy, nevertheless, memories of our bataan outing keeps me refreshed still. hehe. really nice beeaaccchhhh!!!
and i loved the bonding moments with friends--- and the people who i normally just smile to and that's it.
basta twas nice and memorable and i loved planning every minute of it. i loved buying beachy stuff, i loved sneaking our food in, i loved riding the ferry, i loved seeing mount samat and gossipping about the japanese old men we saw, i loved night swimming with the rest of the advance party, i loved the hanging bridge! i loved swimming swimming swimming, even in the salty beach cause i was already far out but i wasnt drowning yet (yuh, mababaw kasi hehe), i loved eating fries, onion rings and salpicao while in the pool (yum!), i loved my first experience to kayak! i loved the videoke, pine orange vodka, and watching the guys who are really drunk. i loved taking pictures, chika chika chismis and cooking up bold film titles with my girlfriends (aja!), i loved the sunset (didnt get to catch the sunrise), i loved walking - even running in the sand... masmahirap nga lang. basta i sooo sooo loved everything about it.
i got to talk to bugs den last saturday mga 2am na ata... haha, i think he was drunk as well. anyway the news is, he's going to the states, to study i think... pero anlabo kasi magkwento so im not really sure... oh well, when he gets back we'll make up for lost time for chikas and heart to heart talks hehehe.
in an even greater news, we're due to get our bonuses by monday!!! cant wait!!!
i still cant make up my mind. do i upgrade my pc or buy a digicam? hmmm...
anyway, im hoping for better days...
ive been thinking of changing the way i live my life the past few days. whether im serious or not will be put to the test. id like to keep fit (so id look better in that bikini), lose a few inches on my waist and just aim to up my metabolism.
on my list of things to do today is to arrange my office space. God knows i love the clutter, but i read somewhere too much clutter isnt so nice. plus the fact that everyone else is saying my space looks too crowded (haha, i keep my c2 bottles kasi, plus my plant, plus my pen and pencil holdersss and the 1001 stuff here... man, i just cant throw away some of them. but ill try to really clean up today i swear.
next tidbit. i have a NEW crush. haha. yup! take note of the word NEW. ive recently just noticed him. he dresses kinda preppy but it looks sooo good on him. He looks a bit like a crush in college too. and ive seen him in casual wear. HOT! hehehe. but that's about it. He just looks so clean and decent and COOL. but not really my type when it comes to what's inside. Think A-boy, and likes to work out (athletic). A bit conyo too. Still, very nice naman, i like his smile especially when he smiles at me. hahaha. and i love his taste in footwear. really.
sigh.
oh well. i think ill go watch that new episode of desperate housewives now...

i am gonna beach!!!

hehehe. im all packed up, ready to go to the beaaaccchhhh!!!
ill be buying my suit, sunblock and flipflops later. haha, always last minute. hayyy. di bale, i can make it through this. ay labo.
basta im EEExcited!!! wahehehe.
this morning pa when i was listening to the radio, yung kanta:
"Take me to the beach..."
wheee... malamang no work na naman today so i guess ill be daydreaming here.

i am pissed

i am pissed because i value you too much and i value time with you too much...
but you dont seem to be or feel the same way.

but you should still be thankful that im pissed.
at least im not indifferent/ unfeeling.

would you like me to be indifferent?
gladly.

just say so.

this morning i saw a mom and her child standing in front of the peninsula's BIG fountain, facing the ayala/makati ave intersection. They looked silly standing there, watching traffic, but after awhile i realized they were actually posing for pictures. The dad was the photographer. Typical. But it made me all nostalgic. I miss my dad. I miss him taking pictures of me practically everywhere: in fountains, in front of flowering plants (smelling pa the flower haha), beside Santa, beside a an elephant statue (with me pretending to be a Thai dancer), with a new toy, a new friend, in a new restaurant... I was a popular child icon, my dad was the paparazzi, hehehe.
anyway, enough of that. yesterday was nice. my stomach was full, my heart was full, my head ached. hehe. my feet hurt too because we did a lot of walking. (me and my big mouth)
anyway, it wasnt the perfect night. but it was enough.
i dreamt last night. haha. not gonna give the details though. i dont remember much... but i think it was an R-18 thing ;) bwahahaha....
the pants i was selling got in! yey! they were nice, but i hoped for a better tyoe of fabric. oh well, you certainly cant have everything...

bakit parang pahirapan.
bakit parang ayaw sulitin.
pano kung tamaan na ko ng kidlat ngayon o mag end of the world na? (knock on wood)

basta.
ewan.

got this from nestlee

> "Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, it is the
> realization of how much you already have."
>
> When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times
> we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the
> one which has been opened for us.
>
> It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but
> it's also true that! we don't know what we've been missing
> until it arrives.
>
> The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of
> everything; they just make the most of everything that comes
> along their way.
>
> The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you
> can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures
> and heartaches.

* i am inggit. jimmo and girlfriend are going to malaysia for the weekend. three whole days. astig. kahit pa sabihin nya na parang out of town lang yun (because they're based in singapore) the fact still remains that they went "out of the country" together... argh.
* im not a flower person. really. even with scents, im more into the fruity variety. but damn, when you see those pretty beautiful flowers, you cant help but wish that those wild bouquet of flowers are for you...
* should you just try to calm the hype your feeling over this commercialized day the westerners have created? expect the worst, so that if something good happens, it'll be an unexpected kind of pleasant surpirse... if nothing happens... well, at least you expected the worst. but that's like, kidding yourself right? because deep down, i can never simply expect the worst... i am tooo optimistic to play that mind game with myself. sheeshhh. frustrating.
* if the heart says FOR, the mind ABSTAINS, signs say WITHHOLD, what's the outcome?
* we are stuck in a cycle. a never-ending cycle... that MIGHT get worse as time passes, as we grow older and maybe even further apart... why take the chance? please tell me again why we should take that chance... no, dont tell me, it's up to me. CONVINCE ME. TELL ME. PERSUADE ME. maybe then, it would be a pleasant cycle... or a cycle that isnt so emotionally straining... unlike a woman's monthly period.
* dwell all you want. this shall stay with me forever. and i will... jsut give me a few more reasons and i will.
* but hey, i love you.
i love you.
i love you...
kahit na ayaw mo manood ng dreamboy with me :)

it's been a long time since i last blogged... meaning it's been a long time since i've felt that i needed to vent or was just plain bored. :)
well, i've been into forums and sales and yes, ive managed to spend money while sitting down. nevertheless, im not at all "nanghihinayang" because im quite happy with everything. and it really feels like when i get a package via air21 in the office. it's like opening a christmas gift haha.
the past few days were, in fact, very eventful. i just had no time to chronicle evrything that's happened the past few days so let me just put my random thoughts in:

- i was able to go to the area last saturday!!! i missed the kids, i missed trying to cheer up the kids and keeping them quiet, or trying to make them listen to the lesson by being quirky, perky, weird and animated. and i loved the fact that even though i haven't seen them for over a year, they still remember me. haha, i miss the feeling of so many kids wanting to hold my hand, wanting to share stories with me, just wanting me there :D
- i met up with my highschool friends last saturday den!!! at metrowalk in ortigas, which is a nice place to hangout in. we were almost complete, except for carol :( oh well, still so much fun. and i feel so lucky that even if i havent talkd with them for over a year, it still feels like nothing really has changed. we still never run out of stuff to tell each other, stories that make us laugh, chika chika chika... and no matter how much we change, we will always be friends. :D
- kit and i are doing well. and i think that we've both found things that we like to busy ourselves with... that's actually a very positive thing for me. we get to be 2 individuals in a relationship. i honestly dont know how long this will last but im willing to hang around until that day comes.
- im doing very well at work, i think. im awaiting my bonus though and i hope that when i do get it, i will be pleased with myself. heheh.
- the pc at home is working and so im addicted to cubis gold and text twist again. sometimes it just feels so good to spend time beside my sister and work thru those games.
- ive got one negative feeling for the day though. my ofcmate got a delivery of nice flowers today and i am positively apple green with envy. i know that flowers wilt, but still, they look so darn beautiful...

ill be downloading DivX codec today... and research on how to take good care of rabbits. and watch nip/tuck so that i wont have to look at the for sale forum and spend money i havent even earned yet...