thizizit!!!

the ball's in your court now, baby...

it's all you now, all you...

good luck!

quotable quote

"Love is not about finding the right person, but creating the right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning, but how much love you build till the end."

haunted

sometimes... i keep thinking...

what if i chose differently?

what if i was able to let go? would it have been much easier?

there are times when i want out... but then, i see him, and i remember us... and i feel happy thinking about that, and about what lies ahead...

i have so much faith, and hope, and love...

but.

i am haunted by ghosts of Phoenix past... and i keep thinking if this torture is worth it.

i don't know how long i'll get over it.

honestly, i haven't completely gotten over the one before that... more like, 94% over... and then this one comes, and of course that throws the 94% off course :( yeah, sad, isn't it?

no matter how much i try to control my thoughts, these somehow get the best of me. no matter how much i try to block them out, they push their way through...

what's so ironic about this? i haven't done a thing, and yet, i carry the burden :( sometimes, that's how i feel...

i guess this is his burden. dealing with how i am right now.

if he breaks, then he'll make it easy for both of us now, won't he?

but is the easy way out, the best way out?

i hope not.

on a scale of 1 to 10

how important is:

Compatibility
.
.
.
Being there for each other - no matter what... and i mean, no matter how tired, sleep-deprived, depressed, stuck-in-traffic or cranky you are
.
.
.
Self-sacrifice for the other's happiness
.
.
.
Romance
.
.
.
Support
.
.
.
Financial stability
.
.
.
Open and honest communication
.
.
.
Constant communication
.
.
.
Optimism
.
.
.
Intelligence
.
.
.
Against-all-odds kind of love
.
.
.
Being able to really understand... or at least, really tries to
.
.
.
Maturity
.
.
.
Patience
.
.
.
Ambition
.
.
.
Cuddling (or lambingan, for a better scope)
.
.
.
Kindness of heart
.
.
.
Being religious
.
.
.
Cooperation
.
.
.
Trust?

looking for the guy who will really mean it when he sings this song to me

Stick Around by Azure

How many times do I daydream About making love to you I'll take you to a special place Where it's only me and you I'll put away all your troubles On the other side of the world And wrap my arms around you, hon And tell you you're my girl (So let's go sail away in the night) And we'll go far away from here (To a place where our love is right) Can I take you to my world? Chorus Whenever you're sad Whenever you're crying I'll be the one who wipes away your tears Whenever you're cold Whenever you need me I'll be the one who runs to you And give you my love Will you know how much I love you So you better not let me down I'm not asking for too much Baby, just stick around A quiet day in the country Or a rainy night in my room We'll hide away into the sheets If the morning comes too soon An afternoon in your eyes Or a lifetime in your heart Forever just ain't long enough But at least it's a good start (Falling deeper in love with you) Will you be there to catch me girl? (I hope your falling deep with me too) Can I keep you in my world? Chorus Forever, forever Ooh.. would you come on baby (let's go sail away in the night) And we'll go far away from here (Tell you that's where our love is right) Ooh.. Cause, whenever you're sad Whenever you're crying I'll be the one who wipes away your tears Whenever you call me Whenever you need me I'm gonna be right there for you and give you my love Yeah, and you know how much I love you So you better not let me down I'm not asking for too much, baby Just stick around Forever, forever

from Veronica Mars

"The hero is the one that stays... while the villain is the one that splits."

By the way, I sooo heart Logan Echolls :)

*things are a bit hazy in the love department. TRUST gets tested over and over again, and yet, LOVE is so much stronger. I swear this is the ultimate last shot. Let me bleed to death if I stand in the way of the bullet again.*

Dan Campilan's unlikely antidote to teargas

As a Bombo Radyo reporter covering the Edsa Tres May 1 riot, he was blinded by the teargas but found an instant, unlikely antidote: "Para mawala ang anghang sa mata, dinakot ko yung ice cream na tinitinda nung mama sa Mendiola at pinanghilamos. Nagsunuran na rin yung iba. Sorry manong, but you saved my life."
- Howie Severino

now, i know what to look for if i become victim to a teargas explosion...

May he rest in peace...

stuck

i can't go home yet.

yeah it's crazy. it's 2am, a Saturday (oops, Sunday na pala), and i'm stuck in the office. apparently, the elevators are being fixed or something, so i can't go down yet. good thing i'm not alone, Mark's here as well... to be stuck here with anyone is good period. wouldn't want to hear those weird noises and be unable to run away if i want to... nyahaha...

me stuck at the office.

now you ask, why the hell am i at the office at this day and time? well, i needed fast internet access while doing stuff for my class on Monday (which includes drafting their 2nd quarter exam)...

ok. so that's an excuse.
truth is - i don't want to go home yet.
because... my mom is there.

sigh. we just don't get along anymore! she is too domineering, and wants to rule over my life... and the minute she sees me lounging around, or having fun, she freaks out. seriously.
she sees me watching DVDs, she'll tell me i have to clean my room (which, by the way, she already cleaned after i told her not to because i don't want anyone else moving my stuff...)
she sees me resting, she'll tell me to get off my butt and exercise.
she sees me reading, she'll tell me to sort through my stuff to figure out which can be given away.

and there's the whole she-just-can't-let-it-go-that-i-am-all-grown-up-now and that i'd rather make my own decisions without her hovering around me, and yeah, she's went through all that stuff already, but come on, i wanna make my own mistakes too... besides, i'm not stupid enough to commit the usual mistakes...

when she starts talking, she can go on and on... and if i did something wrong or something she doesn't like, she can go for, like, 2 hours chronicling every single thing i did wrong, or maybe relate this single unacceptable thing i did to me being some sort of her worst child nightmare.

me stuck with the mom who doesn't trust me, and doesn't want to let me go.

i guess there is one reason for her paranoia. it's this relationship i'm in.

true, i am having doubts about this relationship... but i have too much love that i just can't let go yet. and i'm afraid i'll be tortured by the "what ifs" if i do let go. haha.

as i've said, i feel that i've given so much, my pride just won't be able to take it if this is all there is to this relationship. well, maybe it's not pride... it's that big big hope that there is so much more to this...

i guess i'm waiting for that one big thing to make me pack my bags and say "adios" to this relationship.

ok, that didn't sound good haha... like i'm waiting for everything to explode before i get out of a time bomb... sometimes i do feel like that. but, well... even if it's hard to, i... trust. maybe not trust him completely, or myself even... more on - that i trust God will make everything fall into place... or that God planned it to be like this.

me stuck in this semi-heartbreaking, semi-heartbursting relationship.

heartbursting being totally positive hehe... i considered heartwarming - but that was too bland... heartbursting is like - your heart bursts with so much love and happiness...

of course heartbreaks happen too. the heart just breaks... and mends... and breaks... and mends... and i wonder how long this will go on?

how stuck am i?

no longer child's play

again, i find myself at a loss...

what to feel.
what to do.
what to think.

the pressure of so much love for such a long time is weighing me down...

but the thought of that same love is lifting me up...

an emotional tug-of-war.

i don't know how much longer this will go on, but i want it to be over soon...

please let it be over soon.