i had this really weird armageddon like dream where i had to save the world... actually it was like this big school/ dormitory where there were a lot of kids and it was beside this industrial plant which was going to blow over and drown everyone else and i was the one who had to run and warn everyone else, but some dont believe it so i act like this lunatic who screams, "Run for your lives!!!" or something to that effect...
does that mean something? hmmmm... maybe it's saying that im going to save the world or something... or maybe that it's one of my great fantasies... to be the hero... er, heroine.
anyway, i havent been able to blog lately coz it's been busy at the office. between the training and the reading forums in female network (haha), it's tricky to find the time to blog.
I loved giving the training.
haha, shhh, i hope my officemates dont get to read this entry. ang nerdy ng dating ata. i just love the whole presentation thing, knowing stuff other people have trouble understanding... shucks, i really do want to be a teacher... or a trainor at least :) maybe soon when i've got kids na, so their tuition fee is free hehe.
and i've made a vow too. i'll be one of the top performers this season... yeahhh!!! hahaha... psyche yourself out sister! kaya to. hehe. wala lang. just that by june ill be focusing on my studies na so id better shape up real good at work.
im happy na i think im getting a wee bit closer each day to the well-rounded person i want to be. naks! although i still dont know where im headed, ive got a pretty good plan, at least for the next six months.
there's volunteering hopefully every saturday, doing real good at work, finding nice bargains on sundays or late weekdays (hehe), studying my masters (woohoo!), finding the time to still meet up or chat with old friends... and making new ones! im going to enrol in jazz or hiphop dance classes too so i can shape up.
i also hope that thing called love can work its way on its own... or at least he will...
i'd like to go to Bicol too and see my kuya again, and take Mara to the beach and to Mayon Volcano. and to Enchanted Kingdom daw hehe.
Id like to visit my dad and tell him what life has been like the past 9 years he's been gone. and i hope he's still proud of me like he used to be.
Id like to visit my lola and take her to the spa (haha), but i dont think she'll like that, so maybe ill just cook for her and take her shopping.
Im thinking about our birthday party and how much its gonna cost and if we need to do that pa...
I hope Lola Lilia will arrive from the States and i can impress her on how i've turned out to be since the last two years she saw me.
i'd like to treat my pamangkins to a day they'll never forget, because im sure every day is a hard day for them.
I'd like to treat my mom to someplace nice, where she wont spend even a second worrying about anything... but i doubt i can do that, though i can try.
on the light side, id like to upgrade my PC so i can play SIMS 2! ay, di pala light side un, more like really heavy on the pocket. sigh.
well, anyway, i hope i can do the stuff i need to do for the day.
God please guide me. I need your help.

yay! right on the dot! astig! im acting my age!!!

You Are 21 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

been very busy the past few days. obvious?
been preparing for temps' training, which i thought was gonna happen within the week but it turns out sa monday pa pala, which is good. more preparation time the better.
been in charge of the house too. that is forever tiring, i swear. i can never really be in charge of the household for long. either i give up or the house gives up.
tomorrow is going to be an eventful day. yey!
plus, planning for the company outing is good.
plus, my bill for the credit card is here and yes, it is big, but the good news is, it is very much manageable.
i hope tomorrow is a good day. and the day after that. (Aunt's bday on Sunday yey! busog again to the max!)
great day pala dapat!
buy a new TV on Sunday too, sana.
sige, have to buy gifts na :D
punta ko body shop sana di ako mapagastos hehe. goodluck!

kudos to whoever wrote this

Love can be of many splendid things
Can't deny the joy it brings
A dozen roses, diamond rings
Dreams for sail and fairy tails
It will make you hear a symphony
And you just want the world to see
But like a drug that makes you blind
It will fool you everytime

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesnt care how fast you fall
And you can't refuse the call
See you've got no say at all

Now I was once a fool it's true
I played the game by all the rules
But now my worlds a deeper blue
I'm sadder but I'm wiser too
I'd swore I'd never love again
Swore my heart would never mend
Said love wasn't worth the pain
But then I hear it call my name

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn't care how fast you fall
And you can't refuse the call
See you've got no say at all

Everytime I turn around
I think I've got it all figured out
My heart keeps callin and I keep on falling
over and over again
This sad story always ends the same
Me standin in the pouring rain
It seems no matter what I do
It tears my heart in two

(The trouble with love is)
The trouble with love is yea
(It can tear you up inside)
It can tear you up inside
(Make your heart believe a lie)
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride
(The trouble with love is)
It's in your heart
It's in your soul
(It doesn't care how fast you fall)
You're losing all control

i thought alicia keys sang this one, turns out it's kelly clarkson.
anyway, ive been through a really tiring and mega-harassing weekend and im gonna make sure next week wont be like this one.
i've been through 2 nose bleeds, a stiff neck, a sore arm, an aching back and still here, taking short breaths. what the hell is wrong, i wont know, i am soooo tamad to drag myself to the clinic. im so sleepy too... really sleepy...

hyper. ventilate.

I've been stressed lately, what with losing the maid and my mom blaming me, the pressure of knowing that I'm not exactly really going after what I really want in life because i dont know what that is, finishing a project only to find out they've added revisions to what should be done so you'd have to start all over again, house chores (cause i'm the maid now), struggling with a budget, scrimping to save, praying that my plant in the office will not die, being unable to sleep because of the million things that stress me out. Oh, and dont forget about this certain someone i love who just loves to confuse me of how love should be.

Saying all that, I'm not wondering anymore why I've been having shortness of breath so often. it's like any moment now, and i hyperventilate.

What if i just let it all go? Let it all go and just let it all come back to me in tiny baby steps. That's all i can really do right now.

I'm tired of doing everything i can, and then everybody else wants me to do something more but not the everything that i've been able to do.

I'm tired of my life.
Really.


It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along...
And she will be loved.
And she will be loved.

my inner shopaholic child is at it again!!!
just got this cute red oriental cloth slingbag...
this is a hopeless struggle...

news for the day...

i wanted to blog first before really working...

ive got a lot of work to do and im beginning to realize there really are a lot to do and they get even more complicated as each day passes... ive got to update errors, do that s&p project, profile and analyze 2 companies today, and... watch that new episode of desperate housewives... hahah, pasaway talaga...

i was on leave yesterday and i have some...

bad news:
i was forced to buy 2 pairs of shoes and a book yesterday....
total damage: Php 1,200 ++

good news:
ive got 2 nice pretty and comfy pairs of shoes!!! and a really cool chick lit! hahahah...
my inner shopaholic child forced me to buy it. really... you should have seen me as i struggled to NOT buy... but sheesshh... i lost the battle.
my feet hurt na ren naman from walking with mama's shoes (they were the only black closed shoes that was pretty enough to go with my clothes yesterday)... okay, so my feet hurting kinda justified buying a pair... but why the hell two again?!
err... it was a cute pair...

:( toink! you really are one crazy dudette... weakling! huhuhu... help me bury my inner shopaholic child...

i suddenly felt depressed...
i saw something sweet kasi... hindi pagkain... basta something sweet...

grrrr... i dont like you very much at this moment. you know who you are.

arrggghhh...

salamat sa mga kaibigang tumulong sa kin upang makalikom ng apatnapung libong piso.
mahal ko kayo... (with matching sandara wave)

bawal magkasakit

my tita's been in the ICU for three days...
confinement in the ICU costs 30 thousand per day.
do the math, add a bit more for other medical fees...

at saang lupalop namin kukunin yun?
sheeshhh...
now im in charge of looking for at least 40 thou of that bulk.

i havent worked much.
God, bless my friends, sila ang takbuhan ko...

friends help me out naman o...
hay, i need this amount na by tomorrow... yaiks...

happy new year!!!

Mara and I watched Disney on Ice last night. Super fun. and now i want to learn how to ice skate! and ive wondered how it would be to travel around the world with a troupe (like circus performers and those ice skaters)... astig cguro. :D
now i know i cant really ice skate so ive opted to either take dance or tennis lessons instead. ive vowed to do volunteer work seriously and commit myself to it NO MATTER what my mom says. this is something i want for myself, that gives me a sense of well being, NOT cleaning up the house that gets dusty and magulo no matter how many times i clean up.
Mama Nilda is in the hospital. :( she's been in the ICU since Dec. 30th. but she's okay now and due to come out tomorrow. the BIG problem is how to pay for her bills. she doesnt have enough and now the whole family's looking for money to discharge her from the hospital. i hope i can find a way to help. i hope i can dig up the number of that girl who keeps calling me at the office, trying to get me to loan money.

ive got a couple of new years resolutions, but they're all too familiar already as i list them out every year and it almost never changes.
1. save! as in a big enough amount to stash as emergency fund.
2. not be so makalat or burara
3. exercise... or at least commit to a decent physical activity once a week
4. be less selfish... but not too selfless
5. be a bit more aloof when i have to... and a lot more "there" for the people who are always there...
6. pray. go to mass. Let go and let God...
7. DO MORE, WANT LESS

that last one is a new one, and i think it can be my mantra for the year. i want to be busy this year, but the busy-ness that brings something into my life... fulfillment, money, fun experiences, etc etc... so that i can refrain from even thinking that my life is anything else but the good life that God has mapped out for me.
ive been buying books more frequently this time (yaiks) but i enjoy it anyway...
id like to end with something that made me smile from the mixed up files of mrs. basil e. frankweiler, which is really a children's book, but i loved it anyway...
Happiness is excitement that has found a settling down place, but there is always a little corner that keeps flapping around...

i hope i find this kind of happiness this year :D
click-->> happy new year!!!