pizza face

or should i say pizza slug? god, m so stuffed as in sobra. i must've eaten 6 slices of pizza. ooooo... nawala ang silbi ng aero (haha, as if...) nagapakain kasi si sir tom. yellow cab pizzas, about 10 boxes of em. shempre pagdating... ATTACK!!! attack lang ng attaaaaaccckkkk!!! hahaha. tapos ngayon magrereklamo na nagpaka-bondat. *sigh* yan kasi... :( oh well... Yellow Cab the best. hindi nakakasuya, unless of course uve eaten one whole box siguro no?
bored pa ren ako. and sleepy... very sleepy... *sigh*

bored bored bored

heinaku, anu pa nga ba ang bago sa akin... bored to death na naman ako noh? kanina pa ko dito hanap ng hanap sa net ng games similar to the crimson room at MOTAS, pampalipas oras lang hayyyy...
well, yesterday, ash wednesday, i actually woke up 7am so i can make it to a 730am aerobics class sa village... yap, nag-aero ako! hahaha! actually aero-jet-do. it was fun kaso i was a step behind everytime tsaka sobrang pawis after, pero it felt good na i was doing something para hindi ako tuluyang maging lethargic. anyway, nagmass nung gabi. i had my bike fixed also. over all, pretty normal, but productive for achange. im still thinking kung mag-aero pa ba ako later? naaaahhh...
naku, mejo nitatamad na ko kaya ill stop here na...

mystery of time and space

nope, di ako maglilitanya tungkol sa mysteries of time and space. hehehe.
i had fun today.
hehe, kasi kahit walang work at nakakabato kanina, i found a great way to spend my afternoon, in front of this pc.
The Mystery of Time and Space by Jan Albartus sci fi mystery game u have to get out of the rooms, basta kinda like the crimson room pero expanded!
grabe to. from 1pm til 430 ko pinaglamayan :D
fun sha, basically kasi ur not really alone while playing. kasi may chatroom that goes with it para u can get help from people naman. i actually had online friends kanina. one was from germany another from france, one from pennsylvannia (tama ba spelling?) ang saya. kasi when i was asking for help talagang naghe-help sila, tipong "anna, push the chair" o kaya "did u get the screwdriver anna?" basta feeling close talaga hehe. me nanghihingi pa nga ng picture bwahahaha.
pero all in good fun,at least di sila lunatics.
fulfilling den when you finish the game, kaso anticlimactic. hayy, di pa ata nila tapos ung ibang levels kaya ganon... oh welll... basta ok :D visit nyo na lang ha?
learned something new today: that i love these mystery games (that what you call em?)
made me smile today: i finished it!!!
current mood: ang galing kooo!!! :D
listening to: ending credits in The Mystery of Time and Space game site

Family Day

saturday was a tiring day... and quite a turning point in my life, id rather not discuss it.
but anyway, Sunday was a blast. it was my sister's family day, and as dorky as it sounds (and as horribly horrifying i though it was) i actually had fun. i somehow felt that it was one of those days that i truly enjoyed being with my family. we laughed, we made kulit each other, made inis each other den (and god, im so conyo again) pero basta, masaya.
it started off with Mara waking me up at 6am on a Sunday morning. i swear if i didnt love her so much, she'd be bruised all over by now. I had to take her to her school for the special family day mass in which she was so proud to be part of the choir. i really thought id be so pissed the whole day but a kid's enthusiasm is indeed very infectious.
in fact, i became even more enthusiastic about family day than my sister. haha. darn the magic show. even if you know it's all about how quick your hands are, one cant help but be awed by it. i felt like a little dreamy naive kid again, yelling "Jennifer!" when the magician asked what the name of his rabbit was again. hehe. i even raised my sister's hand when the magician asked for volunteers (secretly hoping it was me just so i can expose his "tricks" hehe). naturally, the magician picked out my sister among the other 200 kids of the lot. :D hehe, sobra nga shang kabado kasi ba naman sinisisi sha nung magikero kung bakit nasisira ung mga guns na ginamit for the trick, which was all part of the act of course. haha, shempre after, binuking na lang ng kapatid ko that the magician pushed some kind of button for the trick. hehe. and shempre she also felt like a star kasi insta-popular sha. hehe (not ofcourse that she isn't. josko, ung kapatid ko na yan dapat isama sa starstruck e. andaming fans nyan sa village namen!) he also had this furry cat and dog as part of the act na magkamukha...
after puro games and stuff pa... we watched lang pero it was fun den naman, most of the time, Mara and I toured lang the campus grounds to buy food and stuff around (hehe, feeling mall ba?)
anyway, basta fun fun and i never expected it to be fun fun.
nagpa sim swap den si mama to smart kasi free tsaka 64k na. e my mom has the first version pa e she wants a bigger memory to accomodate her mobile friends at mga text messages na cute. hehe. alala ko pa dati galit na galit ung saken pag text ako ng text, ayaw pa nga niyan ng cellphone dati eh, pero ngayon, heinaku, di mo ma-istorbo kapag nagtetext.
anyway, concert naman sa gabi featuring noel cabangon and paolo santos, who did about roughly 10 songs each.
shempre, hyper na naman ako, so i dragged my sister to get noel cabangon's autograph. huuu, nung una nakakahiya daw tapos mamaya mag-isa na shang tumatakbo to get paolo santos' autograph. anyway, so there i was and i started that line to get noel's autograph and picture. "Mr. Noel, Mr. Noel, pwede po ba magpa-autograph?" shempre sabi nya sure, who can resist me? hehe.joke. he wrote "Anna, Salamat. God bless." o diba close kami. hehe. anyway, i enjoyed his performance talaga, tsaka na-inspire ako don sa sabi nya na, "ang sarap ng pakiramdam na kumakanta ka lang, nakakatulong ka na" kasi nga the concert was for a cause. kaya, from now on, I am available for bookings, you can hire me for a minimal fee to sing for a cause. hehe. any takers? pero seriously, dream profession ko na yon. akalain mo,u sing lang tapos it makes a big difference na? wish ko lang talaga...
anyway, paolo was up next pero... ayoko na kasi sa kanya. sawa na ko e. i used to like him soooo much nung di pa sha sikat. as in, i would download his songs sa kazaa, and nung time na un mga 10 songs palang ung meron kasi nga wala pa shang recordings or anything. from performances lang yon sa gigs nya. kaya lang, bukod sa ang payat payat nya, pangit ang taste nya sa girls (hehe) tsaka nagsawa na ko sa boses nya. well, natuwa naman ako nung ang last song nya, instead of his famous renditions of overjoyed or because of you (na in my opinion is gasgassss), he sang Fast Car! Woo hoo!!! one of my favorites! kaya ok na den. :D i liked the original moonlight in paris den, pero when he sang it... hayyy... can't help but fall in love... not with him ah, or even with his voice, mind you. but the strumming .talaga lang, ang ganda ganda.pamatay! tugtugin nyo for me pleasssseee...kahit wag na kantahin dahil di ko naman gets ang lyrics but the strumming is really really good (especially the intro).
anyway, so there... my sister had her shirt autographed pa by Paolo Santos (labo noh?) but anyway, yon. haba na neto. basta i actually had fun during that dorky Family Day event. :D and it feels quite nice. you can count on your family talaga pala to distract you from the insanity of your life,as long as they're not the reason for it. hehe.
learned something new today: that Boots Anson Roa and Jay Sonza are running for senator and that Bentong's real name is Brusuntus Brotamante... :D
made me smile today: my baon is spaghetti!!!
current mood: happy
listening to: Dream Without You - MYMP

bum bum bum...

feeling ko asa bahay ako... pero aircon. hehe. sometimes that's the way i feel at the office. i listen to my mp3s, leaf thru magazines, watch a vcd, tapos do my "assignment" (kung me work) at my own pace. basta magawa ko ung dapat magawa for the day...
wala lang...
share ko lang: reading YES! magazine, KC Concepcion said, and i quote, "I think that love is when you find someone whom you can really connect with. Not only having the same values, not only having the same ideas. Parang romantic love is when you find someone that is kinda exactly like you..."
wala lang...
made me smile today: ung love quote... kasi i think ive found the preson who's exactly like the real me. :D
current mood: singsongy...
listening to: could be wrong - MYMP

i still feel like throwing up...

i finally saw that la salle/makati sex scandal clip. the first porno "movie" i ever saw... (honestly, as in ung palabas na puro sex at hubaran...) nung una, u just feel... weird and indifferent. parang feeling ko alien ako and i was seeing worms for the first time (labong description ba?) di ko na sha tinapos. i stopped watching nung nahinahuna ko na girl to girl na ung susunod. the whole time i was watching, i kept thinking, "stupid nung girl, tanga tanga, and it was clear that she wasnt enjoying it (well, i guess except for the part when she keeps on moaning...) pero she kept on giving that guy a blowjob, t*ngna, ung guy, kung tratuhin ung girl parang slave nya eh. the girl was saying tama na, pero the guy kept saying dali na or something like that while he was filming the whole thing, close-up pa! or baka slut lang talaga ung girl kunwari she wasnt enjoying pero oo? ewan, dont really know what goes on in their demented minds. sh*t ung guy, what was he thinking? he was thinking more about capturing it all on film than making love to the girl! ooppsss... i forgot. there is a HUGE difference between making love and just having sex. at don ko lang nakita. they wont even kiss. nagmumurahan pa sila. is that supposed to turn each other on? twisted guys these are... after awhile naawa na lang ako dun sa girl. pero ang stupid pa ren nya, tapos this guy was forcing her to taste his ickie stuff. yacckkkk kadiri talagaaaaaaaa! that's when i started to throw up. really throw up.
this is the first time that i threw up because of something revolting and not because of what i ate. really. until now, i still feel like throwing up. and then, i actually cried. yup. boohoo, tissues everywhere. i felt so violated in a way siguro. tapos sobra ring... na-shock?! i cant believe that people risk losing self respect just because they want a roll in the hay.
i think porno has a really bad effect on me. i used to be so eager to watch em just to see why some people want watching it. but now, forget it. they're just trash.
learned something new today: porno wasnt worth my curiosity.
made me smile today: RX top1 of hot 10 signs ur in a bad parlor: the water they use for washing ur hair was the water they used for your foot spa.
current mood: really utterly dusgusted.

before i leave...

gusto ko lang mag rant ng mejo. napansin ko recently the companies that i end up with are sablay! major! poor disclosure, typo errors galore, grrrr...
hayyy...but at least ive got work. :D ok, ok na ko... hehehe. feeling ko productive ako kahit papano.
ung last company that i made is making a fuss pa in the main office (hehe, feeling ko...) they have to confirm the details with the company pa. kasi naman e, bomalabs naman ang proxy...
anyway, i gotta go!!! ingat kayo!!!
made me smile today: m going!!!
current mood: wheeee!!!
listening to: dave matthews band...

i got work to do!!!

yipee! what a better way to start the day t han having work to do?! haha, para bang abnormal? tuwang tuwa na may work? heinaku, if u guys just know kung gano ka-boring it sometimes gets when you've got nothing else to do but surf the net, play games or watch vcds... it gets tiring den naman... and my brain is pleading for exercise (i wish i could say the same thing for my body...)
anyway, aside from that good news, i also have the half day off! *clap clap* woohoo!!! hehehe.... hopefully, this company, Infotech USA, wont be such a pain.
so there, im not sure if i can still log in my thoughts for the day...
i hope you guys have a fruitful and cheery day!
made me smile today: work! :D
current mood: quite happy.

just watched cruel intentions...

hehehe. cute ni ryan philippe. wala lang. i used to think reese wasnt very pretty pero dito she was pretty. hmph... inggit ako kay reese... kasi parang ryan is such a sweet and sensitive nice guy (visited a few fan sites... hehe fan na den ako! *sigh*
pwede maglaway sandali?
learned something new today: ryan philippe is hot!
made me smile today: ryan philippe is cute!
current mood: giddy
listening to: cruel intentions ending credits...

:(

i think today would be another so-so day... u know how you've always wanted to be or do something extraordinary with your life, but you cant cos there are things that dont allow you to? or maybe that's just me? or maybe there are just too many superficial things that you care about that's why you cant do the extraordinary things? sometimes i feel so trapped by what i am... and you cant really change all of a sudden bcos ud be the one who'd have a hard time adjusting to the changes that you so want to make... wala lang. i just realized that its been almost a year since ive graduated an have i really achieved something? are the things i aspired to be or have or do, have i reached them? did i even take steps to reach them? haha, but then, what do i really want in life?
am i so over analyzing my situation? is there such a thing as thinking too much about your life? maybe while im thinking im missing out on the opportunities that i should have taken? did i make the right decisions? am i a better person now?
ok, im not making any sense again. change topic.
i want to do something worthwhile with my time. kaya i try to learn stuff in the net (habang walang work), but wud u believe i want to study again? yep. i planned to take an MBA sana next semester kaso naman kainis! at least 2 years work experience for Ateneo MBA and 3 years naman for La Salle MBA (ok sana la salle convenient kasi jan lang sa RCBC tower...) so bale i have to wait another year pa?! kainis talaga!!! grrrr!!!
so pano na yan? what am i to do?
iniisip ko nga kahit seminars on financial planning sana i can enroll... kaso i thought that would cost me, compared sa MBA that can be financed by the company...
hay ewan ko...ano nga bang gagawin ko sa buhay ko?
di pa ko nakakapag-pray ng matino... gusto ko ren sana makapag-confess na ko...kasi naman pag communion my sister always asks:
"pipila ka ba?"
"hindi."
"bakit?"
"kasi di pa ko nakapag-confess"
"so?"
"makasalanan pa ako..."
tapos she goes ahead para magcommunion... eh minsan mas-bad pa sha sa ken eh! (haha, compare myself to a 9 year old girl, u can laugh...)
that's it. i suck.
huhuhu...
hope i get my spirits up later... m gonna watch cruel intentions na nga muna...
learned something new today: i suck?!
made me smile today: im thinking really hard... er. nothing yet. :(
current mood: down
listening to: ring ring... but it aint my phone. boohooooooo.... :(

shaider

ever wondered what shaider really is? i mean, yah, he's police kalawakan and all, pero sa english alam nyo? :D
learned somethng new today: shaider is a space sheriff...
ge sent me a couple of shaider songs and that definitely
made me smile today: hehehe. shaider songs naman pakinggan for a change! hehehe. hanlabo...
current mood: bouncy!!!
listening to: space sheriff shaider!!! it's about 3 minutes long ata... hehehe... plus a couple of other short ones, including the shigi shigi song. hehehe.
anyway, hehe, mashado akong natuwa don.
had lunch with da boys again kanina. sorry to disappoint, no jolog update really. most of the time they talked about the NBA game (NBA nga ba?) while i was sipping my mango juice and looking at stuff they call art in the GT tower food court. di maka-relate, promise. sometimes, there really is a language that guys speak that i can never comprehend. and the way they shift subjects, ey at least we girls have transition, really. forts, it's the ulam then the different shoes some guy in the NBA wore during the game (papalit palit... ey at least i get some parts...), then Anna Marie Falcon (another new thing ive learned... you know her as Francine Prieto now), the mega-ewww boobs of Miles, and the stupidity of Maui Taylor. and i spent 120 for lunch and it was sooo not worth it. grrrr... and u'd think these guys would treat me out? another grrrr... i loved the mango juice though.
grrr... me sira ung fone ko!
feeling ko naipit ipit ko sha mashado kaya me topak ung keys,tsaka namamatay matay! grrrr!!!
heinaku...
anyway, blog update, i got a comments tag for each entry na so feel free to comment or say hi den there, other than the tagboard!!! :D

me got pictures!!!

yipee! me was able to upload some pixies here!!! just look at the right portion, jan sa baba, got pictures na i like there. :D unti lang yan, i had to resize stuff kasi to fit it in that area. pasensha na kung iba iba size hehehe. woohoo!!! wala lang. tuwang tuwa lang ako :D so, that...
made me smile today: pictures in my blog!!!
hehehe. anyway, well, i woke up early today. sevenish... pano ba naman, i had to pee, tapos i saw my mom was still there! usually, she's gone before seven, o kaya nagpapanic na yan kasi she's late na, hehe. e kanina, sobrang calm tapos naha-hum hum pa... yon pala, mag out of town. she's headed for quirino. hmph. blame it on gloria, she's making those engineer troops go all over the country just so people will see she's got these projects to do... my mom goes on semi-work, semi-vacation trips while im stuck here. unfair.
oh well, at least i can stay up late tonight. yup, would u believe kapag di pa patay ang ilaw ko ng 11pm, kakatok yan sa pinto ko para matulog na daw ako... sheeessshhh... o well, ma work pa nga kasi, but still...
anyway, my agenda for today is to... er... surf the net, improve this site (by adding java-chuva...), learn a bit of italian (i always wanted to, and not just because of milan, ha?), make plans with my huney, add friendsters (it's been awhile), have lunch with da boys (yup, agen. miss na nila ako.joke! we have to discuss the status quo of jolog movies and songs :D), finish my dalandan soda (which is free in the office so i have 3 of them ryt now), apply for a half-day leave on thursday so i can take my sister to the dentist since mom cant accompany her na... i think that's it na... ok, i have to accomplish those things na...
learned something new today: a guy named Brandon Boyd is the lead singer of Incubus... Brandon Boyd is also a character in my childhood book collection addiction, Sweet Valley Twins. wala lang... kaya pala familiar...
current mood: relaxed
listening to: CPU hum...

early ako!!!

yep! just wanted to log in at this tym... :D

huhu

i had work today... kaso nga lang, di daw pala dapat gawin na lang yon kasi kapag 2 separate ballots, di na gagawin. huhuhu. oh well, at least i did work... anlabo ba. practice na lang yon. parang er... joke joke joke! pero u learned something new from the joke...
so bale un ang isa ko pang
learned something new today: pag voting as a separate class ang preferred stock ng company , wag papakialaman... hehehe...
made me smile today: uhuy... kakabigay lang nung ITR form ko. kakamangha... kaso... di pala nakakatuwa ito...
current mood: sorta pissed... im paying taxes na kasi talaga! grrrr.
listening to: have you ever (incubus) yay, rock on! wanna watch incubus!!!

musings over my weekend...

eya!
i had lunch with lily kanina. ansarap ng blue marlin. wala lang :D andami kong nakain after all that shit, promising myself to not eat too much and maybe even exercising (stress on maybe...) heinaku... pero anyway, i...
learned something new today: that greenbelt's 1,2,3,4 are just near each other talaga! hehehe... kala ko kasi magkakalayo, kasi sa may kabilang dulo ng ayala ung greenbelt3, tapos ung greenbelt1, where lily and i usually meet e sa other side of paseo. hahaha.
anyway, im gonna add that to the stuff that i have to fill up everytime i log. tutal, u do learn something new everyday... hehehe. gusto ko ren magkaron ng lagoon like ung andon sa harap ng greenbelt 3... as in, in my own yard... hehe. feel ko bang mag-tampisaw don?! hehe, tampisaw... parang title ng cheap porn flick. starring Taylor Curves (that's me, accdg to my pornname site ) hehehe. labo...
anyway, i was going to tell u about my weekend no? well, ung kanina, that's pretty much what happened sa valentine date namin... well... with a little other stuff id rather not reveal... wahehehe... feeling daw o. basta time with my huney is ofcourse, super saya everytime, kulitan, lambingan, pa-corny-han, ka-eng-engan, tawa tawa tawa... yuckkk... nagiging mushy na naman ako...
sunday, we woke up early kasi nag-mass (yap, 730 am is very early especially on a sunday morning!). something wierd nga happened to me. nung communion, pinatugtog ung Anima Christi. shempre natawa ako kasi naalala ko ung song spoof... "Soul of Christ, sat beside me..." hahaha! tapos nung part na ng chorus, parang gusto ko maiyak... as in, out of nowhere... pero shempre pinigil ko. hehe. pero basta ung feeling na the song moves you so much..."Hear me Jesus, hide me in Thy wounds That I may never leave Thy side..." siguro kasi i feel so far away from Him. olats na kasi ang spiritual life ko. i mean, on my own, im not doing very well. :( Dati, i had ACIL to somehow help me out in that department. e ngayon... hayyy... another reason why it's harsher in the workplace. pero actually, napapabayaan ko lang talaga sha. baaaddd... pero naisip ko ren baka im PMS-ing lang kaya ako tatawa tapos iiyak na lang. haha, excuses...
anyway... afterwards, i bought puto and kutsinta na from pangasinan daw. i really love their puto and kutsinta, iba kasi. i remember dati inuuwian ako ng friend ko nun kasi province nya un... kinain namin un while watching movie. haha labo, so away from the traditional popcorn. anyway, i watched Milan with my family. cute sha. the same formula applied to got2believe i think. plus a better view all the time. i want to go to Italy tuloy and learn Italian. add that to honeymoon ideas :D anyway, not really a must-see pero di naman sayang ang pera mo. well, it's a must-see if ur a piolo-fan-and-u just-dont-care-if-he's-gay flick. omg, dun sa may ending part, when he was wearing that red long sleeves and jeans, he looked so sexy talaga... josko. bakit ba nagiging bading?!?!?!?! pero not that i care no? diba Kit?! :D
i like what Jenny asked Lino... "Kailangan mo ba ko dahil mahal mo ko o mahal mo ba ko dahil kailangan mo ko?" bigat, man... we'd better ask ourselves that everytime we get into a relationship...
but then, of course, it ain't a pinoy movie without a key ingredient. a theme song sung by the lead characters. hehe. just like got2believe, this one has a duet by piolo and claudine. not bad naman. hehe, gulat lang ako hindi "the gift" ang title ng movie. siguro kung hindi shot in milan un ang title non. hehe. o sha this is pretty long na ah? will blah blah blah na lang later kapag ma-bore ako ulit (para kayo naman ang ma-bore sa mga blah blah blah ko... hehehe
made me smile today: the idea of making tampisaw in the greenbelt "lagoon" hehe. it changes color pa at night!
current mood: kinda awake na...
listening to: circles (incubus) ... kaya ako nagising... kanina pa ko sinisigawan neto e.hehehe.

half-alive

Ever had that feeling that ur not really awake yet? na parang everything's hazy, parang ur stuck in a bad dream...well, not naman bad, pero, basta di good/sweet dream... parang ur a zombie or android dwelling among creatures who makes sense (or do they?!), na u feel possessed by a being that isn't you? ok, that made no sense... but then im half alive, er awake... so it's ok na i dont make any sense...
hayyy. i feel sabog na antok na parang me hangover... but i didnt drink naman...
anyhoo... siguro if i relate the stuff that happened to me over the weekend, id feel more alive...
saturday was ofcourse valentine's day. when i woke up, i found my sister watching harry potter & the sorcy's stone for the nth time (with her repeating after hermione's lines ofcourse), and i sat and watched with her. afterward, shempre, get ready na for my date! woohoo! pa-beautify and arte galore. haha. by 1230, kit came and ate lunch with us (a lunch that i planned naman :D what? you think id cook for him? not on valentine's day! i had to make paganda pa remember?!inihaw pa naman ung pinaluto ko, angalan naman mag-amoy inihaw ako?!)
anyway, afterwards, we went to his house to watch a movie he was raving about: My Sassy Girl. It's this Korean love story na super funny and makulit and kaka-teary-eyed at some parts. akala ko nga sad ending coz kit said na he cried. wahahah, di ko alam kung nag-e-exaj... anyway, kala ko nga horror e, kasi kit showed me an MTV on that movie, un pala the girl was drunk lang kaya parang mukhang horror hehehe.it's super cute talaga!pretty spunky girl and nice goofy guy. somehow, though they loved each other parang they tested (or rather the girl did), if they really were meant to be by letting fate decide... tapos me nagsabi: fate is building a bridge for the one you love.... hmmm... wala lang. basta ok ung movie. 4 out of 5 stars recommendation :D
o sha, work came in na. i'll get back to you laterrrrrrrrrr...
made me smile today: the memory of sassy girl... wait, what does sassy mean anyway?
current mood: drugged...
listening to: tickitack tack tack of the keyboards and the hmmmmmmm of the photocopier...

Happy Heart's Day

feb 13 pa lang ngayon pero damang dama mo na ang valentine's. dahil ba sa "love is in the air"? actually, hindi. kasi ba naman, kahit san ka lumingon mkakakita ka ng mga flowers/ flower arrangements... sa 9th floor nga, bigla na lang may sumulpot na flower shop e.
nung asa elevator nga ko, merong flower arrangement chuva ung isang girl. kasi imbes na flowers, cadbury chocolates ung nakalagay! ba naman!
gusto ko den ng flowers... ung makapal tapos ipapadeliver sa office ko, tapos magugulat na lang ako... "Huwaattt?! Kanino kaya galing itong mukhang mamahaling roses at tulips big big bouquet?! *blush blush*" hehehe... pero, hindi naman hint hint yon e... di nman kasi practical ung prices e, malalanta den after mga two days diba? but it would still be nice... hehe. *sigh*
i have giffie for my huney! hehe, pilit ni-rhyme. may gift na ko kay kit! very practical! next week ko na i-reveal. para me element of surprise! surprise! :D
sige, eat muna ko. kakagutom maglakad lakad...
uy, may bago akong dagdag for everyday...
made me smile today: gift sa huney ay practical! at matutuwa sha for sure!!! :D
current mood: wheeeee!!!
listening to: none ryt now...

imma regular!!!

of course i am extraordinary! what i mean is that i am now a regular employeeeeeeeee!!!

hindi na on probation!!! wheee!!! shempre, binalita ko kagad sa aking friendly friends... si checos humirit "so bale manonood den ako ng vcds dito sa ofc para ma-regularize." hehehe. yup! yan ang secret! hehehe. pero in seriousness (hehe), matino naman ako magtrabaho no? kapag me trabaho. :D un nga lang, wala pa kasing work mashado. pero malapit na dumating ung bulk ng work namin. yesterday we had training nga in analyzing russel 3000 companies. quite complicated. but anyway, basta ang point, i work well naman, kayo naman o... :D
kanina, ryann and i were talking about the elections. hay nako, even if i want to vote for raul roco, im having second thoughts kasi i know na he wont be able to beat FPJ. josko, kahit sino na, wag lang nman si FPJ. no matter how clean he thinks his intentions are (and i really have nothing against him) he doesn't have what it takes to run a country. i want my president to be able to think and act on his own, be able to discuss the country's issues intelligently, kahit pa with other world leaders, not one who has to keep on turning to his myriad of advisers. basta for president, im still not a 100% sure who. for vice-president, lalong di ko alam. i would've gone for Loren, but seeing how she switched to be running mate to FPJ, wag na lang. she's not as smart as i thought.
nako, si Lito Lapid at Bong pala ay tatakbo for senator. josko.
i have a theory. The masang Pilipino are really influenced by the movies, kasi they think that their action heroes can also solve the problems of the country. As if kaya ng mga suntok nila at mga baril ang issues ng bansa... and puhleeezzz. movies pa nga yon e! fiction!
hay nako. may pag-asa pa ba itong bansang to? my mom is always pleading me to go and work abroad na so that we can all migrate to some other place. she's lost hope na, and unti na lang, so will i. hayyy... im pretty sure im not alone on this.
sana nga tama ung sinabi nung feng shui expert. after the elections, smooth sailing na after.
current mood: hopeful or is it hope-fool?!
listening to: kissing a fool - michael buble

mara is sick

huhuhu. my dear sister is sickie... fever pati LBM. tapos she has these insect bites in her feet na mejo nag-swell. kaya she didn't go to school today. wawa... tapos before i left she asked me... "ate, pwede ako mag-SIMS?!" langhyang bata. hehehe. me sakit na nga SIMS pa ren ang nasa isip. hehe, adik kami pareho sa SIMS e. we both want to design houses and play god, er goddess pala. :D
i woke up so late today kasi di nag-alarm ung phone ko (yap!blame it all on the phone!kahit pa tama ang alarm nya, still blame it on the phone!!! :D) hayyy... kaya sobrang im not in the mood to be jumpy jumpy.
anyway, yesterday nag-crave ako for spaghetti bago ako nakauwi ng bahay, kaya i stopped by McDo. grrrr. parang their spaghetti is not as masarap as id remembered. kainis, nanghinayang tuloy ako sa pagbili ko :(
alala ko tuloy the other day naman,nagcrave ako for fried chicken. kasi ang bango... kaso on budget, kaya sabi ko, tuloy uminom ako ng pampurga 2 months ago, di naman siguro ako bubulatihin kapag bumili ako nung chicken sa tabi tabi. it smelled good den kasi. grrrr. akala ko malaki na ung nakuha ko, puro arina pala! yuccccccckkkk!!! yan kasi! makulit! huhu.
tutal food na ren lang tayo, i want to rave lang about go nuts donuts!!! ang sarap sarap! u should see the line dun sa branch nila sa fort. the line is soooo long, every afternoon na lang na i pass there, never nawalan ng pila. if i had the money to buy a franchise of anything, yun siguro ang bibilhin ko. basta, once i have enough money, me will buy a franchise of something. hehehe. isip ko nga dati ung KISS, kasi sa palengke sa pasig, never nauubusan ng taong bumibili... it's a matter of good location (where ur target market can flock to) and having a good product. naks! management na management ang dating. hehehe.
teka, we have work to do na (finally! after two days...)
current mood: blah
listening to: bigger than my body - john mayer... weird naman un kung bigger ka than ur body... hehe, hanlabo...

jolog update

yap, ive learned html and recreated this blogspot.
fulfilling sha, in fairness, kaysa ung laro ka ng laro ng game o panood nood ng movie. hehehe.
im leaving na in a while... after a whole day of looking at html gibberish. my eyes are tired. hayyy... sobrang lamig pa dito.
pero before i leave, i promised to post some jolog songs ive heard while "travelling":
->galaw galaw! a song by marc logan (i used to like this guy for his funny words when reporting... not anymore!!!) para shang balitang pa-cute ni marc logan na may music tapos may back-up singers who shout "galaw galaw!" jeeezzzz...
->kung may fast food song (a pizza pie, a pizza pie, chicken, spaghetti and a pizza pie, cheeseburger, cheeseburger...blah blah blah...) meron na ring fast food restaurants song! "pizza hut, pizza hut, kentucky fried chicken and a pizza hut, mcdonald's, mcdonald's.... jeezzz... magkano kaya ang binayad ng mga restos na to for this non-traditional advertising?!
->akala ko chipmunk song un pala si mahal at mura! "wala ng mura sa panahon ngayon. lahat na ay mahal (mahal!) kami na lang ang di tumataas (taas!)" hehehe... tapos me part na they tick off mga bilihin as mahal or mura "isang kilo ng bigas sa limang piso? MURA!" hanlabo... pero with them singing it... hehehe, maaliw ka na lang...
tag me na lang sa messageboard if you got any new ones. :D
current mood: freezing...mood ba un? basta namamanhid na kasi ako...
listening to: every little thing he does is magic by M.Y.M.P.

i woke up early...

yap. u read it right. i actually woke up early today, mga 530 am. and guess what time i got to work?! 10am... mwahahah! i think, kahit na maaga ako magising, i am never fully awake until 8 am. so bale kahit gising na ko, u'll find me lazing around pa rin, nakahiga, o kaya leafing thru books or mags... basta alam ko na me time pa ko, di ako kikilos... sakit na nga ata to e,kasi kahit na day before, i tell myself na i have to get to work earlier, i just... can't. hayyy...
yesterday, i did nothing work-related in the office, kasi, no work came in naman. pero unlike before na i'd watch vcds or play games, i fixed my blogspot! woohhoooo! ayos na ung tagboard ko!!! and i put in several others pa, like the hit counter, how many users are online, changed the colors...
basta natututo ako mag-html... and im far from finished... with nothing much to do, doing this site is kinda fulfilling, im learning pa. naks! pero grabe ha, im even dreaming about this blogspot, like what i plan to do and stuff.. haha, ma-obssess daw ba?
im gonna put in pictures and stuff pa kasi i know na how!!! yipee!!!
anyhoo, malapit na valentines!!! up to now, wala pa rin plans... i really wanna watch sana the boyzIImen and brian mcknight concert... kaso if ever, makaabot naman kaya kami sa lovapalooza? hayyy... feeling ko ending neto, i wont be able to go to both. *sigh* sana nakapaghanda ako earlier para nanalo uli ako sa contest.
just like last year...

i remember i was so psyched to see my picture in the paper! tapos un pa ung day na sobrang hell cos we submitted our draft for our IP that day e sobrang sabog pa sha. and then everyone else was saying they saw me sa inquirer. yey! instant celebrity! :D sana maulit muli... *sigh* sana na lang next year magconcert sila ulit para if ever di ako makakuha ng free tickets, i can prepare financially (yan kasi di marunong mag-save!) :(
later, im gonna update you guys on the latest jolog songs. promise, inuulan tayo ng mga nyan, lalo na malapit na elections (nyak? konek?) basta merong koneksyon yan, lalo pa ung mga candidates, they use the songs as jingles... grabe, they make it even more jolog when they do that, donchatink?

nga pala, me want to add this to my daily entries. idea to input details below imported from live journal...
current mood: sleepy
listening to: i'm just a teenage dirtbag baby

ow-tu-ten

i wanted to put "early morning chuvaness" in the title, kaso, hehe, for others di pala to early morning... well, for me, im earlier than usual sa office... about 20 minutes earlier. hehehe.
anyway, the date today is ow-tu-ten... (02-10)... hahaha. cornyyyyyyyyy. so what peklat?!
anyway, ryt now im enjoying a cup of coffee and a dunkin donut... mmmm, sarap mag-breakfast ng ganito. :D sana laging ganito, kaya lang that can be hazardous to my health... peste! the best things in life are always not so good for you... lalo na for me, grabe i super love sweets but i have to cut down on gobbling them down kasi i have, erm... diabetic blood?! yun ba ung tawag don? kasi i dont have diabetes pa naman (heaven forbid!), but my dad died of diabetes and so, it's in the blood tlaga... hayyy...
anyway, i remember tuloy a text message forwarded by my close friend Carol (naks, special mention!):
"Coffee, chocolate, men... some things are just better RICH!"
hehehe. i replied:
"true! but i dont like them too dark and i'd love 'em more if they were really sweet!"
diba? :D
change topic.
mark ow-tu-ten because it is a special day. i have found proof that i am maturing. and this in a certain social context...
i used to think sobrang pang mga gurang ang AM stations. id choose FM over AM anyday. well, i still do... BUT! nowadays, i love listening to Ted and Korina's morning show and Karen Davila and sum other person's afternoon show. (ok, so it wasn't like I myself turned the radio over to the station, kasi i get to hear it pagsumasakay ako sa FX but still i love listening to them). at least it's intelligent banter and i really learn a lot. wala lang. people of my age better start listening to it na ren para at least they know more about the country. especially now na elections are near. basta, it's like Chico and Delamar din naman e, pero ung issues na tackled are may pagka-political. like, i feel so conyo while typing this ha?
hehehe.
Roco campaigned earlier daw dun sa Jose Rizal University, tapos parang sabi nya dun sa elementary students tell ur parents to vote Roco-Aquino (sinong Aquino kaya tong running mate nya? i'll research nga...) tapos puro flowers daw don kasi un daw ung tactic ni Roco. "Flower Power!" hehehe. sabi ni Ted Failon "kung walang flower, walang power!" corny pero natawa ako. Bakla ba si Roco? ay, may asawa nga pala sha. hehe.
at alam nyo ba na you should never say bunganga when referring to the bibig? kasi aside from the fact na it sounds so palengkera, bulkan lang ang may bunganga. at bakit? bulkan ka ba?! ayyy... mga babae nga pala parang bulkan, sumasabog... hehehe... tapos mabibingi ka na lang. :D admittedly, i can be like that sometimes... bulkan na palengkera... na mejo conyo ba? (taglish entries ba naman? mahawa ba ako sa foreign parish priest namen?!)
Keep your bunganga shut na lang, pwede?!

swamped by distributing companies

naloloka ako... grabe, ito pala ang pakiramdam ng nagtatrabaho... hehehehe.
madugo... oo... dugu-duguan na ako...

post weekend hohums...

i think monday entries are going to be some of the longest. shempre kasi id update you on what happened to me nun weekend... plus kung anu mang isyu ang bumabagabag sa isip ko, ilalagay ko pa. hehehe.
oh well, start off muna ako by saying, naloka ako today. kasi first time ko mag-distribute ng companies sa work. basta, parang dami gawin, i-check... a very complicated process... i hope i get the hang of it before proxy season starts. asus, eight nga lang ung pumasok today naloka na ko ng sobra, pano pa kaya kapag tipong mga 100 companies na pumasok?! siguro abutin ako hanggang gabi... :D
o well... just logged in sa friendster... 3 friend requests... woo hoo!!! :D hehehe...
as of date, i have 334 friendsters... wala lang... hehehe.
o, ano nangyari sa weekend ko?
let me start with friday. wehhh. di nman weekend yon ah? hehehe. basta, i went out with kit, kaya happy happy joy joy! :D binilhan pa nya ko nung mister donut na valentine edition (weh, yon ba tawag don?) basta ung me metal canister na heart shaped. hehe.
tapos nakapanood ako ng bubble gang after 100 years... ang sarap tumawa sa ka-corny-han...
nung saturday naman, fun fun kasi nakapag-area ako!!! weeheeeee!!! namiss ko talaga ung kids sa Escopa, pano ba naman, kids ko na un since 1st year college. grabe ung mga sinauna kong kids, anlalaki na tapos masmatangkad na saken. sheessshhhh... pero it made me wonder, just how did my presence there a few years back change their lives? me effect ba? ung pagka-engs kong pagturo ng catechism in a really hyper and weird manner, me effect ba? sana...
tanong nung processing, what made u commit to ur area? hmmm, sa totoo lang, kasi feeling ko talaga may silbi ako sa mundo pag dating sa area. na i really have this mission, na im needed. ganon. pero it also feels so darn good hearing tiny angelic voices screaming ur name ("ate anna! ate anna!") especially na after all these years, na kahit di nila ko makita every weekend, they still remember me... and how they love to hold my hand, come near me, make pa-cute and all. shempre, all of them are cute! :d kahit madungis, sobrang lambing talaga ng kids in my area. sobraaa.... :D kaya talagang babalik balikan mo.
hehe, ung kids tinutukso pa kami ni kit, "yihee! magde-date sila!!!" hehe, oo magde-date! o, me reklamo? hehehe. meron ngang mga kids, nag-a-argue. "ate, boyfriend mo ba si kuya kit?!" er, oo... hehehe... akala siguro ide-deny ko... hay nako, andami naman kasing mali-link sayong partners kapag area e, makulit kasi ung mga bata, intrigero pa! si emer, mitch, mon, andre... hehe, sanay silang matawa na lang ako. pero shempre ngayon, hindi na dine-deny... hahaha! :D
after nag-date nga shempre... basta masaya yon! :D
nung sunday naman, i cleaned my room. shempre, special moment yun pagnililinis ko kwarto ko. kasi minsan ko lang gawin. hehe. pero i did something different, kasi i made a, parang corkboard. basta cute! tuwang tuwa nga ako e. i put in pictures and bookmarks and lists, basta un, cute! kasi i did all the lettering and the doodles pa with my colored pencils! hehe, aliw ako mag-colored pencils kasi ang saya mag-mix and match. basta, cute na! tsaka ni-re-arrange ko ung posters ko sa wall... wala lang... gusto ko na rin sana i-repaint ung room ko kasi ung iba, nagchi-chip off na ung paint. ano kayang magandang color combination? suggest naman kayo o? ung matino ha? tsaka masarap sa mata...
after, nagmass kami. which reminds me na ang tagal tagal ko nang di nagko-komunyon kasi andami ko ng kasalanan. hehe. gusto ko na muna mag-confession kaso wala pang opportunity. nahihirapan ako humagilap ng confession room na may pari (confession room ba tawag don?!)
shempre, half-listening lang ako sa mass. ang hirap kasi mag-concentrate promise. kasi naman, sa village lang ata namin ung mass na taglish. nakakalito tuloy. kasi foreigner palagi ung priest. sa homily, di ko mashado maintindihan, kasi kakaiba ung accent. basta, ang hirap intindihin... okay, para bang excuse lang? pero basta, mahirap... kaya kung saan saan tuloy napapadpad ung utak ko...
hayyy... so bale nung mass, ang laman naman ng utak ko, is my plans for the future... well, kasi nakita ko ung music teacher ko nung highschool. she plays the piano kasi for our parish. e, married na sha, and balita ko, she lives na dun sa st. paul compound, free housing. actually, sabi ko sa sarili ko, that would be an option when im married na. magturo sa st. paul. hehe. ok kasi ata ang benefits e. ok naman din daw ang sweldo. i want to teach den kasi, kaso di ko alam kung mabo-boring-an ako... sana hindi. yon, kasi pag me-family na ako, at least, me housing na, tapos free pa ung pag-aaral ng anak ko (er, kung girl sha...) or kahit saang school siguro na same ang benefits... hehehe. parang ganun... gusto ko, if ever, ako ung tipo ng teacher na favorite ng students nya. hehehe. tapos pagpasko, madaming gift!!! (kung sa gradeschool magtuturo...) hehehe... basta ganun... anong subject kaya ang bagay sa akin?

me did work!

i just finished work this morning (and for the nth time, yes, i really do have work. it's just such a nice job that sometimes i dont do anything at all except maybe watch vcds on my pc...)
buti na lang i decided to analyze the company today rather than stay later than usual yesterday kasi nga work came in late na.
acutally pagdating ko, me bagong assigned company. Hewlett Packard. Yey, big time o. kaso it turned out na me nag-analyze na non, kaso nawala lang ung name nya kaya akala nung distributor, di pa nagagawa. so as it turned out, i only had this one company na i read na yesterday. so bale time consumed by work so far: 30 minutes. not bad.
pero teka, malamang wala naman kayong paki no, pero bakit ba, e blog ko to e!
so anyway, change topic na lang tayo.
me want to watch Jason Mraz!!! kaso mahal ata tickets. can afford na ko opchors... kaso would i want to spend that much para sa isang gabi na marinig sha? hmmmm... i like all his songs so far... ill think about it pa...
kasi im thinking i really want to have a fun fun birthday with my friends (FYI: bday ko is April 15. it's the same date as the deadline for income tax :D)
sabi ni ge, mag-de-debut daw ako, kasi di ako nakapag-debut dati. haha... not a bad idea...i am turning 21... pwede ren... hehe.
kaso prob. first, we're going home to the province, tentatively from April 3-16. and when we go home to the province, well, we need money... not to splurge or whatever, well, semi-enjoy, but really, it's to help our relatives out, treat em out and stuff... kasi sa mom side, my mom's one of the 3 out of 13 children who's got it made (basta parang ganon)... so ung iba, typical... anak ng anak, pero wala naman papakainin... ang sama ko ba pakinggan ratting on my relatives? pero it's true... hayyy...
next prob, well, my sister's bday and mine are just a week apart. bale april22 sha. and she insists on having a bday party (her last bday party was when she was 7 i think) and i want her to have one den naman... shempre ill make gastos for that also kasi si mama is saving up to pay her credit pa.
i was thinking pagsabayin ang party naming dalawa... posible ba?! she is going to be 10, i am going to be 21.... hmmmm...
she wants games and mascots, i want inuman and live band (or khet cool music by mobile)... hmmmm...
do i just give way?! hayyy... kaso i really want to celebrate with friends e. yun pa, there's highschool friends, college friends (hiwalay pa ang org friends at ka-course friends), at friends at work. joskooooo...
bahala na nga lang...
wanna go to the lovapalooza event... sana payagan ni mama. besides, she went home na kaninang umaga kasi she went out with her highschool barkada... :0 talo pa ako?! anu ba un?! it's not even the weekend yet and gumigimik na shaaaaaaaaaa! dayaaaaaaa!!!

had lunch with da boys kanina.
da boys are nino and ge, fellow members of JOWA (jologs op da world association) of course we just had to "convene" to talk about the latest in ka-jolog-an... now that they're working in Makati, org meetings are easier to set... wehhhh... org mtg daw oh. feel ba talaga? hehehe :D
had fun, i guess. though i would seldom admit it, i like hanging out with those two, no matter how eng eng we all can be. there was a time when i thought we were the perfect jolog trio. haha.
fond memories way back in 3rd year college when we often hung out. paint a picture: nino driving, ge in passenger seat, me at the back, nino bobbing his head, playing with his imaginary drums, humming weird hmm hmms, ge trying to be a boom box (bebebe-base base!), and me singing with bad lyrics (tarrus tarrus instead of stutter stutter...) hahaha... i often get senti when i remember that. kasi ba naman, everything used to be so easy and fun fun fun and gimmick kung saan saan lang... we were sabog and at that time, it felt wayyyyy cool to be sabog, especially if you were with sabog people. teka, im not making any sense. uh oh. bad...
anyway, rcbc tower is such a cool place. ok, so that sounded dorky, but it really is, as compared to philamlife tower anyway...
it has a lot of food places, the interiors are bright, space everywhere, nicety nice... plus a chapel. good. now i have no excuse not to go to mass when i need to (like if it's a holy day or i missed mass or something...) kaya lang kasi it's so layoooo... (haha, is that my attempt for an excuse?!) oh well... exercise daw... fine.
speaking of which, i so badly need to exercise, dude. i am so taba na. kanina as i was walking i kept looking at my reflection in those building windows (i was wearing sleeveless kasi ba naman so init the araw...) and i am so way out of proportion.
punggok. i hate that word. but indeed i feel like punggok.
grrrr.
so i have to start exercising... and i always keep saying this to myself but i never really do.
shux. i need to lose weight! im actually trying to eat less. but damn... once i eat i lose track. jeeezzzz...
i dont want to exercise pa kasi need to lose the fat first or else maging muscles un... (hey! that's not an excuse! my friend said that to me!)
o sha, ill try to find schedules of aero classes or sumtng...

rant on latest jolog songs...

this morning, i realized that i am so NOT in tune with the latest jolog songs...
it kinda pissed me somehow... (both na dahil super duper beneath my jolog standards ang songs, at na di na ako expert sa mga jolog songs as i used to be).
sheeshh... these days, people think they can sing just because they have lame lyrics and fast jeepney loud beat... grabe ung iba taglish pa. puhleeeeeezzzzz....
can you believe my song na pito pito?! ano to, prequel?! ok lang sana kung cute e, (hehe, liked mahal and mura's song... "jimboy jimboy, i hate you..." haha! you go girl!) pero nako, pati nga ung mellow song tinatangkang pasukin!
"okay lang, handa akong gaguhin ang sarili ko..." familiar?! Joskooooooo... tapos meron pang part na me instrumentals tapos me conversation between a girl and guy... ung girl something like "buntis ako, pero di ikaw ang ama e..." helloooooooooo?!
i swear, meron pang isa, di man lang n sync ung lyrics at ung music. parang pilit na isinaksak ung words dun sa melody... "tulog na baby..." grrrrr.... matulog ka na forever!!!!
buti na lang natuwa ako sa isang bagong band: M.Y.M.P. make your momma proud... they rock! :D
and oy, ACIL friends, dija hear about the new Pamela song (before i completely change the subject)
i got the lyrics playing in my head. i swear, yang mga kapitalistang yan kung anu ano ang naiisip gawing kanta!!!
Pamela one, igalaw ang katawan
Pamela two, kumimbot ng ganitu
Pamela 3, parang kinikiliti
Pamela 4, gagayahin ng F4...
now why didn't we guys think of that?!
man....
what is this world coming to?!
as muse of the Jologs op da World Association, it is my duty to uphold and protect the standards of the jolog nation. (air kiss, wave, wave...)
shet. kahit jolog, kelangan me standards, noh?!!!
sige na, gotta do a bit of work then have lunch with da boys...

today i actually felt quite cheery, apple dapple wapple...
i just feel silly and smiley and i dont feel ashamed of it! in fact, i am sooooo broadcasting to the whole wide world that today... yes, today would actually be a pretty decent sunny fun-ny (as opposed to funny which makes you laugh, fun-ny is when you just have fun...) day!!!
whether there is work or no work, i am determined to have a happy happy whoopdeedooo day today...
so.
i am weird today.
i dont care. :D wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
hahaha, my attempts at projecting an image of sanity and normalcy is in danger.
but i'm okay! more okay that i have been for that last few days, when i felt like i was halfway towards hell...
and i know just the reason... or rather reasons.
first on the list, i visited my hunny hubby last night! (eeewww... cheesy you might say. i dont care! right now, i love being mushy, giggly, giddy, whatever cheeseball term there is! :D) i missed him so much, i think not seeing him for a loooong time is hazardous to my health.
next, i ate tikoy! bwahahahaa! masarap e!
i also had this really loooonggg bath this morning after weeks of not taking a shower... kiddingggggggg! :D but i did take a long luxurious bath. the not-taking-a-shower-for-weeks part was the joke.
i also spoke to almost all the people in the office, asking them: "umiinom ka ba?" hehe, feel ba nilang iimbitahin ko sila so early in the morning?! hehe. that was for jaja and company's survey. and that was a good part, cos i dont often talk to them kasi we're busy getting bored out of our wits in our own workstations...
but i am not going to be bored today!!! bakit kamo? walaaaaaa lalalalala lang! :D
jeez man. i feel like a retard... but i feel like i'm on a highhhh!!!
hmmm... was that tikoy drugged?

wheeee!

i now have a blogspot!
finally, a "journal" that i can tell my friends about. hahaha.
they say the idea of a journal is to bare your soul... but then, if you have some spectators, you gotta be careful right?
so though i would, most assuredly, bare my soul, i would not bare it all (disclaimer here)... man, if you could read the madness that goes through my head, i bet you'd think twice about being my friend...
but then, maybe not.
if at one point in time, i have bared my world of disillusions, anxieties and false hopes to you, then i just might welcome you into my uncensored stream of consciousness (and the un and the sub)
i fear abandonment. i fear pity. i fear contempt. but most of all, i fear to be ordinary. so even if i present my "uncensored" thoughts as if they were worth your sneakiness just so you can spread interesting intimate points of my life, maybe they aren't. and then, i will be crushed.
this might just also be my "im at the work place but it often doesn't feel like it" antidote.
imagine me, ranting and raving endlessly... censorship is a must ofcourse as i scrutinize every word i type in. And i'd peer at the screen with droopy eyes and ask myself, "Did i just sound dorky and totally neurotic in that entry?"
and that's what the back space on the keyboard is for...