wheeee!

i now have a blogspot!
finally, a "journal" that i can tell my friends about. hahaha.
they say the idea of a journal is to bare your soul... but then, if you have some spectators, you gotta be careful right?
so though i would, most assuredly, bare my soul, i would not bare it all (disclaimer here)... man, if you could read the madness that goes through my head, i bet you'd think twice about being my friend...
but then, maybe not.
if at one point in time, i have bared my world of disillusions, anxieties and false hopes to you, then i just might welcome you into my uncensored stream of consciousness (and the un and the sub)
i fear abandonment. i fear pity. i fear contempt. but most of all, i fear to be ordinary. so even if i present my "uncensored" thoughts as if they were worth your sneakiness just so you can spread interesting intimate points of my life, maybe they aren't. and then, i will be crushed.
this might just also be my "im at the work place but it often doesn't feel like it" antidote.
imagine me, ranting and raving endlessly... censorship is a must ofcourse as i scrutinize every word i type in. And i'd peer at the screen with droopy eyes and ask myself, "Did i just sound dorky and totally neurotic in that entry?"
and that's what the back space on the keyboard is for...