ruben i crush you!!! hahaha 

pero shempre, ako, i heart ruben... hehehe... notice the hand on the shoulder!!! hehehehe... bait nya tlga sobra! 

we didn't even know cueshe was playing... then when jay and mike approached us, they were kinda shocked that some of us has never heard from them... except for me shempre. hehe, so i sang for them, nakakahiya nga lang. hehe, at para matino, jay sang a few lines for us too (ganda!)...  

my gimik girlfriends (jaimee, ochie, abe and moi)!!! we'll be going out again soon! :D i love hanging out with these girls! nothing boring ever happens! 

Stay - Cueshe

I believe
we shouldnt let the moment pass us by
life's too short
we shouldnt wait for the water to run dry

think about it
cause we only have one shot at destiny
all im asking
could it possibly be you and me?

So if youd still go, ill understand
would you give me something just to hold on to?
and if youll stay, ill hold your hand
cause im truly, madly, crazily in love with you

Time has come
for us to go our separate ways
God forbid
But my mind is going crazy today

i feel so cold
feel so numb
im having nightmares but im awake
Help me lord
Fight this loneliness
Take this pain away

So if youd still go, ill understand
would you give me something just to hold on to?
and if youll stay, ill hold your hand
cause im truly, madly, crazily in love with you

Now that youre gone, im all alone
im still hoping that you would come back home
dont care how long, but im willing to wait
Cause im truly, madly, crazily in love with you

truly madly crazily in love? hehehe.

today is one of the best "kilig" days of my life.
with jaimee, abe and ochie.
phi bar metrowalk.
from 930 til 1am.
Cueshe. Ruben. Ruben Caballero.
hehe.
he is the guitarist and one of the vocalists of cueshe. and man, can he sing!
i love his rugged looks and his kinda-paos but really kaka-in love and kick ass voice.
first time i ever saw him (on tv pa, eat bulaga at game knb) i found him sooo cute, un nga lang i didnt know his band pa. pero his voice was sooo swoon worthy.
cute cute cute. and i crush him more now than Hale's Champ.
simply because he made me feel kilig all over. :)
we were sitting next to their table (so thank God Jaimee and Abe were late that there were no more seats left by the stage) and when they arrived i tried stealing glances (peripheral vision working overtime!) He is so cute! (hehe paulit ulit na ba?!)
buti jaimee "captivated" the band's drummer mike (and jay also, i think. shame. jay was also so cute, but i guess mike's moves were smoother... although jaimee did like jay better sana...he even sang a bit for her!and i must say: not bad!) but anyway, a band member is still a band member and knowing one has its advantages.
so later, after telling abe ruben is cute and his voice is to die for, jaimee got to ask mike for a picture with ruben.
swoon swoon. here he comes and i am melting as he gazes at me. bwahahah. i shook his hand and i hope he remembers my name. hahaha.
then picture!!!
get this! his hand was on my shoulder! sarap! hahaha.
mejo tulala na lang ako while watching their 45 minute stint.
i totally heart him na.
after their set, he came back by our table and i swear he smiled at me! god, he's so nice!
then before he left he turned to us and said, 'Tuesdays we're here, whole of September."
He is just sooo nice! and cute!
and i hope he doesn't ever ever forget me. yung tipong when i come back again next next tuesday, he would smile at me ulet. hehehe.
i love his smile!
wahehe. wala na 'to. crush. mega-crush.
miss ko na magkacrush ng ganito (take note. crush. and i love Kit. hehe)
pero kasi namaaaaaaaaan
ngayon lang ako nagkacrush na akala ko di mareach na nareach ko na somehow. aaacccckkk!!!
goodbye Champ. Hello Ruben, and i heart you! hahahahaha!
i love getting kilig!
hehe. tameme talaga ako kanina at di ko sha super matingnan kasi ayoko pahalata - pero hello, halata naman lalo. namula pa ko buti madilim.
ay grabe.
cute nya. hahaha. sobra bait pa. pamatay pa boses. at nag-gigitara pa. swoooooonnn.
natutulala ako kakaisip.
black shirt.22. made up hair. super nice smile. i love his voice. sobra.

i remembered. he said he has 2 kids, age 7 and 4.
has a girlfriend and i saw their pictures... (mukhang the mom of the kids and the gilfriend is different) mukhang in love, pero in some of the testimonials, mukhang nagkakalabuan... playgirl daw ung girl e... tsaka mukhang di pa sila ganung katagal tlga...well, whatever makes him happy.

but whatever. basta i heart him. hehe. and im okay and happy with a few kilig moments. that's what crushes are for - those mababaw kilig moments, that dont really feel mababaw, hehe. :)
hope to get more kilig moments! hehe.
will post the pictures on monday! wheeee!!!
oh , and to reiterate: i love Kit. hehehe :)

HALE - Runaway

talked to you tonight
to sort things out the right way we used to be
when you were still here with me

I wanted you to know
if you have loved me so
then why didn't you let me know
'cause I didn't wanna let you go

so why don't you just runaway from here
'cause I don't want you to get hurt by me
this way
you loved me to the point where I was lost
but then I couldn't catch you there
right there

so just runaway
runaway from here
won't you runaway
runaway from here

and I will never know
if we could ever go
the way that we should be.

HALE - Broken Sonnet

And now I concede
On the night of this fifteenth song
Of melancholy, of melancholy
And now I will admit in this fourth line
That I love you, that I love you.

I don’t care what they say
I don’t care what they do
‘cause tonight I’ll leave my fears behind
‘cause tonight I’ll be right at your side.

Lie down right next to me
Lie down right next to me
And I will never let go
Will never let go.

The clock on the tv says 8:39 pm
It’s the same, it’s the same
And in this next line
I’ll say it all over again
That I love you, that I love you.

I don’t care what they say
I don’t care what they do
‘cause tonight I’ll leave my fears behind
‘cause tonight I’ll be right at your side.

Lie down right next to me
Lie down right next to me
And I will never let go
Will never let go.

I’ll leave my fears behind
‘cause tonight I’ll be right at your side.

Lie down right next to me
Lie down right next to me
And i will never let go
Will never let go.

But still I see the tears from your eyes
Maybe I’m just not the one for you.

this is where i went last night. BamBOOZEled party at Dish in ELJ compound. 

i went because i love Hale at the moment... turned out SpongeCola was also playing... and several others, including some of my batchmates' bands... 

i love hale because of this guy's charms... hahahaha. 

kahit nakapikit at pawis pawis, CUTE! 

unti nga lang songs nila na kinanta... and they didnt sing my favorite : Runaway... 

pero ok pa ren... at least nakita ko na si Champ! :D 

plus i spent the whole evening with my favorite set of friends... sheila, ge and nino.  

the closest people i can liken to soulmates... yes, i believe i have more than 1 soulmate :D i always have fun with these guys around (plus even if i say or do stupid things, they won't leave me! they still take care of me and make sure i am safe hehe) and more than being able to watch Hale, it was being with them that made it all worthwhile. Love you guys! *hugs* (awww...sniff sniff...) 

what if?!

What if the "burning bush" Moses saw was a burning marijuana plant? That's why he heard God. That's why when he threw his staff to the ground, it became a snake. When he picked it up it became a staff again. He made water into blood. I guess he was high then.When he went to the pharaoh to show this he said, "I'll make this staff into a serpent. But first, you need to smoke this."

hahahaha... what if nga kaya noh?!
:)
anyway, the weekend went uber-fine. we finally went to market market and i loved it! shopping shopping shopping!!! :D also, i've found cheap fresh greenies for whenever i want a salad. i've watched charlie and the chocolate factory and it made me feel like a kid again! it was like when i watched a series of unfortunate events. it's nice when you've read the book too, and you compare that with the adaptation. i love charlie! he is sooo cute! i wish i was a kid again so that it's ok for me to obsess about this crush, hahaha!

we just finished that corporate governance training given by vp's from rockville. it was interesting actually, but i guess the highlights of it for me when i was assigned reporter for my group's roundtable discussion. kasi naman, it's been awhile since i've done (as reggie puts it) "public speaking". hehe. it felt nice to know that although i had the jitters, i was still pretty good at it, i didnt stutter and i was only barok once. Minets. i said "...they trained for only thirty minets..."wahehe. Afterward, we decided on 5 main areas for action, and i was volunteered by Sir Tom (hehe), to head up Research Management, along with Krisna. It felt pretty good to know that he thought i could handle heading such. i mean, all the ones who were heading the other areas were team managers already, so that was a pretty big boost, professionally. :)
on other news, i've started on doing sample projects for EBio, (where i do other people's papers) it was pretty fun (geek!) and quite challenging at first, but now i'm getting a little lazy... but i do swear im going to push through with this. i hope i get a lot out of it.
next, this is pretty weird. but i dreamt last night... and all i'm going to say is that... i let him kiss me... which is weird... now i'm quite confused as to what that really means. what are dreams exactly? do they reveal our innermost feelings? are they visions of the future? are they to be considered as signs? i remember thinking that even in my dream, i felt confusion. as if i was going through that reality. am i just simply in denial? and i think there was also a point when i felt happy and satisfied... is it because i've thought about this waaayyy before, this possibility? but then there were also feelings of guilt and fear...
hay nako. ewan.

he's cute noh? ;) visit http://misa.org.ph/hale/ for more updates! :)  

meet champ/ arthur lui-pio, on vocals... he looks a bit like josh hartnett... only cuter! :D and with a voice i wish would lull me to sleep every night or serenade me everyday... 

meet HALE, my favorite band at the moment... 

Today is a very special day because, about 2 decades ago, the person who was destined to fill my life with such a great happiness (though he has undeniably made me cry the hardest...haha!) was brought into this world...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TABEBE!!!

and i'm proud to say i am now more knowledgeable about pop-up cards and cheesecakes :)
i'm so glad you loved my gifts :) i'll never forget the look in your face when you saw the pop-up card and my photoshop-inspired artwork haha! and my attempt at that oreo cheesecake wasnt so bad. in fact, after refrigeration, it was the best i've ever baked from scratch so far (meaning no cheating with the ingredients :D) i guess i'll be making more of those from now on... :)

more than anything else, what you emailed me this morning lifted my spirits up so high...
"Having you in my life is present enough..."
every girl's dream come true :)

anyway, on other news, i've finished season 1 of The OC already! haha! and i loved it... and now that that's over, i can focus on what ive been meaning to do. clean up, and find other sources of income. :) E-Bio has gotten back to me and i hope i do a great job. next option is the italliani's job.
so that's it for the day...
gotta hit the sack now, or else i'll be showing up for work at noon again...

pedophiles must be shot!
hanged, burned to death, whatever, they are absolutely sick! i was just watching the correspondens earlier and it was really hard for me not to puke. really. why these people even breathe is beyond me. why does God allow these people to even exist? can't he have set certain policies or strict rules for the DNA of mankind, such as, it will never be possible for us to kill other people or make nuclear bombs, or molest children or take their naked pictures?! just as it is impossible for our fingers to reach our elbows?! i mean, really...
it just makes you so sick... and helpless... i mean even if i wanted to help all these children how can i? by keeping a constant look out for these dumb ass pedophiles and the child bugaws in malate?!
i dont know. its time's like these that you realize your problems really dont mean that much... at least, right now that's what i think... it seems all my worries are insignificant. although i know i will have to face them and resolve them one day...
but anyway...
moving on... well actually i havent been able to move on. my resolution to keep my life on track is ruined by The OC... that's right. today ive managed to watch a total of 7 episodes. yup. while im at the office. while doing work-- which is actually taking the backseat... in fairness, quality of work hasnt suffered though. one of my many talents is being able to multi-task... but then that's not a really good thing. sigh. but i sooo love Seth Cohen!!! haha. even if he's the weirdo or the queer guy, he's witty and funny and nice... and i love him! hahaha! no wonder two girls are fighting for him! In real life he's Adam Brody, but im sure Seth Cohen is really more interesting ;) i guess weirdos are kind of my type... haha... actually i go for guys with the "EngS" factor... right Kit? ;)
anyway, someone's celebrating his birthday soon, so i've gotta cook up something really delicious tomorrow... :D

disappointment

it's a rather depressing feeling really.
i know that disappointment only happens when you are seeking some kind of result or quality or just simply expecting that this is how it should be. but is it really so wrong to set up that standard? is it so damn wrong to fix some sort of level and wish that this point could be met?
it's hard enough to feel disappointed, it's even harder to express it.
afer all, whoever felt wonderful after knowing you have been a disappointment?
this has been a BIG issue with me and my mom since every chance that she has, she ticks off the number of times i have been a disappointment. of course, she doesnt really mean it, she just sees this as a means for me to challenge myself and to be stronger, just as how she faced it. demented isnt it? because it clearly doesnt work for me. i act all rebellious and wounded everytime she does that. but still, we both never learn. haha, stubborn that we are. it's just her way of loving me, so she says. as the saying goes, what doesnt kill us, makes us stronger. yikes!
but then actually, that isnt the issue. i mean, me being the disappointment is not the issue. the issue is how i am disappointed...
im sad with the fact that i can feel disappointment. because i know that i really dont have the right to be disappointed, with me being a disappointment, but in reality, i know that i deserve this much... which is really a small thing to ask for. i mean, what im asking for isnt that hard. and i know because i am able to do it. am i being self-righteous now?
sheesh, i dont really know where this is going, but i just wanted to vent out this small air of frustration before it blows up.
if there was a way to make all of that disappointment stop, when do you decide to end it?
should you even think of ending it?
or should you simply be lowering your standards?
or should you simply do the same and quit whining? just get even?
or should you forget about those expectations altogether?

jeez, such big questions, when in truth, all i wanted was just a phone call...
one bloody phone call...