unsure

yes, that's the word for me today.

so unsure.

so i'm going with the flow, and accepting whatever decision is going to be made. i've realized that i can't fight it, and maybe, sometimes, you just have to go with the flow and not be bitter about how unfair it all is... because maybe, just maybe, that will be for the best.

Ge says i might have turned numb already, and that saddens me. because i don't want to be numb. i want to feel. no matter how much the pain... but then, the past month has made me numb. not only with Kit, but with my mom, my dreams, my past, my God... :(

sigh. maybe this is just a defense mechanism at work.

really, all i want is my happily ever after, whatever that is :)