another lesson on balance

good:
- mama's thesis is over!!! she graduates end of this month! yey!
- submitted my student's grades for the 1st quarter! woohoo, a hurdle overcame!
- bonus bonus! :D
- new phone c/o Kuya Albert! thanks Kuya! :)

bad:
- i am literally shaking as i type this (i swear, if you i try to steady my hands, they won't kasi they're shaking) because i can't understand what the hell is going on. i let you in my life, all you had to do was ask if i was still alive... but you don't... and now it's just complicated? what!?!

i wish i wasn't so affected so much. but i am. because that's how i love. i give my all. i might be overly dramatic sometimes, super makulit, but i make amends, i apologize when im wrong, i try to understand as much as i can. i keep the lines open because i want this to work. and if it comes to a point that i see that you are giving in to this long distance thing we have, then it's harder to hold on, harder to have faith. but i still try. before, i even tried till i had no more respect for myself... but no more. if this is how it is for you (as you say, complicated), then let's not complicate things anymore. i don't want to complicate things for you further.

i have to know when to say enough. please teach me how to say enough... please teach me to not love someone who doesnt seem to love me enough... (although a tiny part of me is still praying that he does, he just doesn't know how to show it...)