meet my new best friend

i lost my best friend. well, it isnt like that person isnt there anymore, or that we said "you're not my best friend!" to each other. no drama (actually, it's just me who deals with all the drama, if ever there's any...) it ain't "poof! it's gone" either... more like a billow of smoke that is slowly disappearing into thin air...

i just felt that... well... let's just put it this way.

STRESS is my new best friend. Stress is always there for me, and stress accompanies me through everything im going through. stress is there to make me drink my coffee so that i wont fall asleep. Stress tells me all these things that are happening to me, they come crashing into me all at once, but it doesnt mean i let them bang me up against the wall and hurt me. Stress always tells me nothing has me beat yet, and it has to stay that way. stress is urging me to do the one thousand and one things i need to do, that i can not rest, i can not stop, even if i feel so wasted already, because i have to keep going on, because... people are expecting me to keep going on, to stay on top of everything else despite of lack of sleep and having all forms of happiness sucked out of my life.

sometimes i try to resist Stress, but then i cant. after all, Stress has always been there for me lately. Can i just tell him to quit being around? no, that would not be fair to Stress, not after being so supportive, with him urging me to push my limits... and push em further... and further...

i haven't collapsed yet, so i guess Stress does know best. either that or he's pushing me towards early retirement hehe...

i'm sad that i lost my other best friend. im not sure if things can go back to the way they used to. i'm not sure if he has Stress as his new best friend too, or maybe Freedom is. all i know is, i'm gonna hang on to Stress for a little while longer...

Being with Stress is my way to overcome missing him...
Too bad Stress doesn't like going to the movies or eating out :(