random thoughts of a semi-insane albeit charming little girl...

Monday, December 12

updates

orayt orayt. it's been more than a month since i last blogged. haha. no, i am not done with blogging.
believe it or not, i have been sooo busy that i just didnt have time to even think about blogging. so here i am now. eager to share what's been happening in my world. random thoughts pouring in...

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okay so PBB is finished and my bet (Jayson) didnt win. but it's okay. most of them are on their way to stardom anyway. too bad, i'll miss voyeur days... haha! all i can say is: thank God for PBB i've met cool people over the net (GirlTalk particularly). In fact, i hope i can join them for a Xmas party on Wednesday at RedBox. hope to see you guys! ;)
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my mom's been gone for a week now and it'll be another week before she comes back. god, you really get to appreciate her when she's gone for a looong time (haha, cos when it's just less than a week, my sister and i jump for joy literally behind her back haha). no one tells us that the floor needs sweeping or our shoes need shining... plus, i had to shoulder all the bills too. grrr.
hay, di bale. even if the whole house is a dump, mara and i are having the time of our lives... hehe. :)
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mara took the 2nd screening test for pisay. i pray to God she really makes it. if she doesn't... i'll be so poooorrrr for the next four years. i want her to go to a really good school and of course that has a pretty expensive price. i just found out that tuition at st. paul pasig is now aroung 70 thousand a year. shyet. where the hell will i get that money? haha, not that i'll singlehandedly be worrying about this. but still.
parang ayoko na tuloy magka-anak... haha.
oy, pero shempre gusto no. dapat lang tlga handa... so mga 20 years pa ata yon e noh? haha!
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in my last post i mentioned that i might lose weight because of all the stress. guess what? i did. i actually lost about 10 pounds... but now, i know for sure that i will gain that back. imagine, i gained 10 pounds the previous christmas and i lost it only this november. plus, just this past couple of days, i've been going from one fiesta or buffet to another. sheeeesshh... i sooo want to lose weight, but i dont know, i just can't NOT eat. haha! temptation!!!!
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i've gone to 168 mall! and i love it! i've bought all the stuff that i wanted to buy for myself (and i look really cute in all of them haha!) and some others for gifts. i managed to really spend a lot. sadness. come christmas i am poor. but well... who needs money when you're surrounded by the people you love?!
yep, that's me trying not to feel so down that i dont have money to spend on... say, a vacation back to bicol or a digicam (which i promised myself na i would buy huhu...)
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i've been in charge of training the new hires this past week... and i love it! haha, geeky, pero i like doing it. sana i could do this all year. haha! kidding.
oh, i'm not gonna go to the states na in the summer. which is a good thing cos my mom really needs me... but don't feel sorry for me yet...
after all, i got promoted ;)
Senior Research Analyst - Reviewer.
yeah baby!!! haha! i felt so ecstatic when i found out. the challenge is overwhelming since it'll only be reggie and i in charge of level 1 come proxy season (and that is super scary), but it's great at the same time because you get to be responsible for something big and that's rewarding for me. i hope i dont mess up.
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it was the ACIL centennial celebration last night. reunion with friends... reminiscing ACIL days... man, was it a rush! especially when carolling was up. man, i miss ACIL! i miss college too. sigh. well, i guess what's left for me to do is to simply be thankful that i was given the chance to be a part of ACIL and have so many friends who continue to treasure me. i've found some really great friends in here. ;)
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too bad there are people who are so blinded by their emotions, they choose to live their life in hate and bitterness... well, all i can say is- that life isnt for me. true i feel bad because it doesnt have to be this way. but well, it's like this now, and she chose to be like this and there's nothing i can do about it. as ge and sheila tell me, it just isn't my problem anymore and i should not be bothered by it. so i'll try to just live my life and forget to care... even if that's hard.
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overnight at Shox' house last night! so much fun!!! haha, even if nakakabato and nakaka-antok, really, it's the company that you have that makes all the difference.
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sheila and nancy are still in their dream world that i continue to be someone's dream girl. and honestly, i dont know how to react to that one... (haha, ishuuuuuu)
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i think i've had enough of teenage drama. hell, ive been a star in one of those when i was in highschool and college. puhleez dont let me go through all that all over again. haha. i guess one just cant help but think about certain what ifs. and i would have to admit that i spent almost an entire day thinking about those what ifs and dissecting every moment, every part of the past, and every present circumstance, trying to make sense of it all and trying so hard to figure out what i have to do or what i really want.
its just so hard to confront certain feelings that you have, particularly those that you should NOT be having! argh. wala kasing closure. haha!
i dunno. until now, sure, i keep wondering what if i took a drastic step and changed my life around to really involve this other person. haha. ewan. considering i'm happy now (well, at least im not sad nor resentful nor regretful...) haha i dont know really. but im guessing that this feeling will stay longer in the closet now.
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but can i just say that -- hello?! are the things you do and the words you say meant to really confuse me and make me think of the what ifs?! anubaaaa.... hahaha... hay nako. it's either we've, or rather, you've gotten to be so comfortable around me, the hirits and all else dont mean anything except that you sooo love being around me OR nancy and sheila's dreams are coming true... hahaha... as if! haha, this is what i meant by the teenage drama i should be over with. man, all this stuff is supposed to be history for us! or for me, at least. pero ewan ko. bothered ako e. siguro nga kasi walang closure... hehe.
gawd... and there are things you wish you knew before... and there are things that you desperately want to know... but then, you think "what's the point in knowing?" if you really cant do anything about it? or maybe you can do something about it, but its gooing to take a LOT fo guts for you to go for it.
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man, what a loooong post. hope that fills you up til next month! haha. i dunno. let's see how things turn up... ;)
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btw, super thanks to my seesturh sheila. i'd be a lot more paranoid and freaky and mega-bothered if we hadn't talked. we have to go out before you leave akay?
and thanks also to the men in my life. (oh wag lagyan ng malisya! haha!) im sure you know who you guys are ;)

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