everything's so blurry

if only the rest of the world can see,
how you are to me...
how you act with me...
how you make me feel...
how we really are...

will they see a clear picture? or will they see it as blurry as i do?

am i too gullible and optimistic that it's a hazardous combination for me?

am i living in a dream?
a dream that i have orchestrated?
or a dream that you have designed, to keep it from becoming the nightmare that it really should be?

always hang on to the thought that something better will happen out of it all...
can somebody please define what better means?

when it seems that it isnt the right time to love... do you wait? or do you let go and just let it come back to you?

is it ever right to let go of something that feels right? or maybe i have this twisted way of seeing which is right, and that which my heart plainly desires?

what are the desires of the heart? is it so strong that it is willing to NOT see what is wrong with the total picture?

why does there always have to be a battle between what the heart desires and what the mind dictates as right?

who should win, if they are of completely opposing views?

does one simply NOT just think about it, to avoid all the confusion, or should one strive to delve in that confusion to make it all clear?

whoever said life was a piece of cake must have died eating it...

how do i go on with my life now? one step forward, but two steps back... a jump here and there... but really... where am i headed?