clueless.

im quite confused as to how life is supposed to work.
are we supposed to give everything we have? or not?
when somebody makes us feel bad, do we just ignore it? try to put more effort? or confront the other because it may not be your fault after all?
all i know is that my self esteem has dropped to an ultimate low the past few days.
and i dont really know what i want anymore.
ive been giving everything i can to everything ive been doing these past few days.
but nothing seems right.
i keep making offers i thought people would find hard to refuse. but they do.
am i not in tune with the world anymore?!
i keep trying but nothing is working. is it time to stop trying then?
sheeessshhh. what is it with this world? are the stars not in their correct alignment or something?!
what is it with this life? hello?! if there really is anybody out there, what do i do now?!
i am so confused. and it's even worse than when i was a teenager... because im supposed to know more now. but why do i feel im even more clueless than before?!
do i just sit around and wait for thunder to strike me?